[Pokémon] Roketto e no kōgeki

"I don't know about this, Steven," sighed Red. "You honestly think these two can mesh? The probability of them actually working together is higher than one of them even agreeing to come!"
"I'm sure of it," Steven said, looking ahead. "Look: this one is ex-military for our nation - he was discharged honorably and was noted as saying: "I do not wish to go, but it is my duty" during his meeting with the press. I'm sure that he will jump at the chance for some action."
Red paused for a long while, but finally nodded his head in agreement. "I have no doubt about his skill - it's the one from Ransai that I worry about. His skill is unbelievable," Red winced, remembering something unpleasant. "He is strong, yes, very stro-"
"But the likelihood of him joining is low, right?" Steven interrupted.
"Precisely. But perhaps I am biased. Shall we ask the others what they think?"
"Yes," said Steven, nodding his head.
The two turned and exited the dimly lit room, and walked out into a large hallway with only three doors - one large, oak door at the end, and two smaller ones at the end they left. All along the walls there were many long and flowing banners, representing the different elements of pokemon, lit from below. On the ceiling there was a mural of several legendary beings, starting with the legends of Arceus, and continuing through to the grand prophecies of the end, also involving Arceus, Red and Steven walked down the long hallway, and finally reached the oaken doors. From far away they seemed big, but up close, they were hunormous.
"How on earth are we supposed to open these?" Red shouted, "I mean really! Who's idea was it to-"
"Red. It opens right here." laughed Steven, pushing open a door-sized compartment in the left gate.
"Oh." he stammered, "I knew that. Just testing your memory."
"Right, of course."
They then entered into a large, bright room with a large table in the center. On the center of the circular ceiling was a mural of earth with various celestial bodies and a long, green creature surrounding it with it's length. The light was filtering in from small, rectangular stained-glass windows, that were every color of the rainbow, and many others. In the room were twenty-nine familiar people - the Elite Four of six regions: Kanto, Johto, Hoenn, Sinnoh, Unova, and Kalos, along with their respective champions. The ones from Unova seemed to be particularly exhausted, most likely from the evacuation efforts, Steven thought to himself. He resolved to go and speak to their champion, Alder, to thank him for his hard work.
"You look weary my friend," Steven said, tapping Alder on the shoulder.
As Alder turned around, it became apparent just how hard he'd been working. His normal, perpetually happy face had been replaced by a wrinkled brow, an exhausted frown, and dark, sad eyes.
"Oh, hello Steven," he murmured, "yes, I suppose you could say that!" He yelled, attempting to muster a laugh and a grin. (To no avail.) "These four managed to evacuate almost 80% of the Unova population before the happening," he said, pointing at his elite four. "I can wish for 100%, but given a one-hour notice, they've already done the impossible; I couldn't be prouder."
"I couldn't either. A job very well done, all of you," Steven announced, "I wish you all well, and I want you to rest up well whilst here."
They all thanked him, and Red motioned Steven to come. As he and Steven continued through the great room, they were joined by Cynthia of the Sinnoh region, and greeted by many Elite Four members.
"So," Cynthia asked, "what's the big plan?"
"We're recruiting two guys - an ex-operative from the military, and. . . someone else you know," Red replied nervously.
"Someone. . . else? And I know him? What is his name?"
"You won't like it, I'll warn you."
"Oh." Cynthia said disappointedly, "him. And we can't choose someone else, WHY?"
"Because," Steven whispered, suddenly getting very cross. "This isn't about you, or me, or any of us anymore. The fate of the lives we have all sworn to protect now stand in the balance, and if he doesn't help us, I doubt even we Elites could hold back this storm. It will be one thing to have the raw power of our military Captain, but without a leader with the strength to control him, it won't get us anywhere but six feet under."
By now, the entirety of the entire room had gone silent and everyone had turned their attention to Steven, who was standing over a now-collapsed Cynthia. Cynthia was sitting on the floor with tears in her eyes. Eventually, she spoke, her voice quivering.
"I-I am sorry, I was selfish, I realize this now. I promise to follow the plan without a word."
"Thank you, Cynthia. I don't expect you to act like you enjoy his presence, I only expect you to cooperate." Steven said while helping her up. "I did not wish to become so angry, but I have my father's temper."
"Steven." Red asserted, "We really need to go. Now."
"Right."
The three continued walking and were soon joined by Wallace, and then by the champions of the other regions, excluding Alder who had fallen asleep standing up. At last the group reached the far end of the room, and stood before a metal gate that was riddled with vines. Behind it, the sun shone warm and bright, and one could hear the sound of a motor. Red looked at Steven, who in return mouthed I didn't think he'd be this early! The group all walked outside to see a small army jeep come barrelling towards them from down a gravel road that lead to Evergrande City. The window tint of the vehicle was too dark to see through, but the atmosphere suddenly became so heavy in authority, that even some of the Champions felt the need to look towards the ground. Finally, it came screeching to a halt, skidding for almost twenty feet, and kicking up dirt all over the Champions! For a moment, all that anyone could do was stare at the jeep, until the door swung open, and out stepped a Lucario; in the open trunk, there sat a Scizor, obviously sizing them all up. While they all spectacled at the Scizor, they didn't notice someone exit the driver's seat.
"So are you guys gonna talk or are we just gonna stand out here all day!?" a loud voice suddenly bellowed. "I ain't got all day!"
Everyone jumped at the voice, and cringed slightly at the source. Before them stood a huge man, nearly seven feet tall. His body was finely sculpted, and packed with muscles - his arms and legs were huge, and apparently, he couldn't find a shirt big enough to fit him. He wore a beanie that fit carefully over his reddish-brown hair. His face was smiling and his laughter lines were very defined.
"Well?" He shouted, still smiling widely.
"A-hem," Steven finally sounded, "Welcome, Captain. I am the one who asked you to come here, and the one that will be assigning you your first mission."
"Great. But first, you got any food? I'm nearly half starved, and so is my buddy Roman," the Captain said, gesturing towards the Lucario. "Wait, there's one more. . . Loki! C'mon buddy! It's chow time!"
At that moment, a Zorua jumped out of the jeep, and onto the shoulder of the giant of a man. The Captain then let himself into the building, passing by the group of flabbergasted champions, and followed shortly by the Lucario. The Scizor remained in the trunk, watching them all carefully and remaining as motionless as a statue.
"I. . . guess we ought to feed him, eh?" chuckled Wallace, following them inside.
The meal did not last very long, as he quite literally inhaled most of the food.
"When did you last eat? You act like it's been a month!" Exclaimed Red.
"This morning!" He slurped, "you can call me Colby by the way!"
"Well then, Colby, shall we discuss the mission?" Steven asserted, "Because it's kind of important that we begin as soon as possible."
The Captain stopped eating, sat up straight, and his entire demeanor shifted to an erie seriousness. It was obvious that he remained a trained soldier. Even his Lucario and Zorua looked toward Steven intently.
"Please proceed, sir. I live for the cause." The Captain said, giving him his full attention.
"Steven, I would think it best explained with the holo-map," Red said. He agreed, and led them back to the room with the table.
Once they had all gathered around the table, Red pressed a switch on the wall which turned off all of the lights, and the tabletop began to glow a bluish-green. After a few moments, a picture appeared in the center of the table, and rose slowly upward until it hovered in the air - it was a picture of a hourglass being turned over repeatedly. After almost a minute, the hourglass disappeared and was quickly replaced by what looked like the Sinnoh region.
"This is where we need you to go," said Steven, pointing to the northern part of the region. "Your target is most likely near Snowbelle City, living alone. He should be considered armed and deadly, even for you - but you are not to harm him, because this isn't a kill mission."
"Then what am I supposed to do? Capture him?" the Captain asked.
"Recruit him," Wallace replied. "This man is going to be our leader."

Hey! Sorry if this is a little late, getting the hang of reviewing again and been checking different fics here and there!

Before I get to the review, I want to mention that whenever you post a story on a forum double spacing after each paragraph will make reading much easier. If you wrote this from Word or Google Docs, I can understand those programs have indents. Forums however don't have that feature (or at least work the same way as Word or Google Docs). But yeah, something to consider!

"Red. It opens right here." laughed Steven, pushing open a door-sized compartment in the left gate.
"Oh." he stammered, "I knew that. Just testing your memory."

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A couple instances of wrong punctuation in your dialogues. The periods I bolded should be replaced with commas.

"Oh, hello Steven," he murmured, "yes, I suppose you could say that!" He yelled, attempting to muster a laugh and a grin. (To no avail.)

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Bolded "he" shouldn't be capitalized.

By now, the entirety of the entire room had gone silent and everyone had turned their attention to Steven, who was standing over a now-collapsed Cynthia.

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The bolded part sounds repetitive. Just "the entire room" sounds fine.

"Well?" He shouted, still smiling widely.

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Another instance where "he" shouldn't be capitalized.

"When did you last eat? You act like it's been a month!" Exclaimed Red.

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"Exclaimed" shouldn't be capitalized.

"Please proceed, sir. I live for the cause." The Captain said, giving him his full attention.

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"...I live for the cause," the Captain said, giving him his full attention..

Comma should replace the period as it's followed by a dialogue tag (the captain said). Also "the" shouldn't be capitalized as it's a dialogue tag.

I noticed there are instances where you punctuated dialogue correctly while other times you haven't. I would suggest giving your fic a couple proofreads so you can make sure all of the punctuation on the dialogue are correct.

I'm assuming the mention of Alder exhausted is referenced the events from the Black and White games or the sequels? If so, neat you have this story take place after either of those. Colby sure made an appearance! Pretty interesting he'll be going to get the recruit.

The setup you have here with the various Elites and Champions together is very cool, though the purpose of everyone meeting together seems a bit vague except the news of the recruit. Since this is only the first chapter, I'm sure more will be revealed soon. The concept you have here has potential, so I'll be sticking around!

Thank you very much for your review and advice! I am glad you noticed how vague some things were, as that was very intentional. All shall be revealed in time, so I'm glad you'll be sticking around.

Word of warning: there is some violence in this chapter! Enjoy!

Chapter Two:

We join our friend, Captain Colby Welch on his first mission with the Pokemon League: to recruit a new leader, a mysterious individual that lives in Northern Sinnoh Region, and goes under the name of Alexander Huff. Judging by the reactions of a few of the League members, this man was apparently quite the fighter.

"It won't be easy," Colby thought to himself, "but these people are counting on me. I'm sure they were just bluffing - trying to make me think I need my A-Game."

The helicopter began to descend through the clouds, revealing mountains covered in snow, cedar trees, and more snow. "Sir. We have begun our descent, and ETA is three minutes."

"So. Alexander, eh?"Colby said to himself, looking out of the window of the helicopter. "That name sound familiar to you, Roman?"

The Lucario stared blankly towards the gridded metal floor, and let out a weak grunt.

"Oh yeah, you're afraid of flying!" Colby laughed loudly, "you're such a baby sometimes, buddy."

The light on the side of the door began to slowly flash yellow, and gradually sped up and changed colors to red. Soon, a metallic grind sounded from the door as it slid open and let in about a million snowflakes and strong wind. Colby strapped a bag onto his back, and a bag onto both Roman and Loki - Scizor refused to don one. The red light then stopped and a ding resembling a Miltank Bell sounded off, prompting them to jump out and into the storm. Roman froze in his tracks, too afraid to jump - Colby grabbed him as he ran by, and jumped out, Roman and Loki in tow. Scizor slowly walked to the door, and simply walked out of the helicopter, which then closed its door and ascended into the sky.

Roman let out a bloodcurdling howl as they plummeted through the icy wind, and Loki cackled at the usually tough Lucario's fear. Colby laughed as the adrenaline filled his body.

"I'm all fired up, guys!" Colby shouted over the loud wind, "let's find this guy and make him help us!" He straightened his body, and turned to face the ground; before he let them go, Colby pulled the cord on each Roman and Loki's packs, opening their parachutes.

Far above them, Scizor was slowly descending, beating his tough wings against the gale. As he came out of the low clouds, he could see for miles in every direction, at least where there were no mountains. When looking straight ahead, Scizor could see what looked like a long silver airship descending behind a tree-covered hill. Taking note, he stopped beating his wings and began to fall faster and faster towards the ground, soon passing all of his companions, and then careening with the ground below with so much power as to create a twenty foot crater. The others soon landed gently into the snow nearby.

After a short rest, mostly for Roman to gather himself, they started walking eastward. Along the way there was a surprising shortage of wild pokemon sightings, which concerned Colby. After a small while, Scizor nudged Colby.

"Big. . . sky ship. . ." Colby heard in his mind. "It. . . was very. . . big. Landed. . .behind . . . hill nearby. . . target location."

"Are you sure this is what you saw, Scizor?" Colby asked as he turned around.

"Yes," Scizor nodded, "I am. . . sure."

It still shocked Colby that he Scizor learned to communicate in such a way. "I'll probably never get used to you doing that," Colby laughed as he motioned for them to keep moving along.

After about twenty minutes, the weather began to clear up, and the stars shone through the thinning fog. It wasn't long before the sky was completely visible, and the moon's light reflected off of the snow-covered evergreen forest. The night was calm, the wind had died down, and off in the distance they could see Snowpoint City, a bright beacon against the inky horizon. This inspired Colby to climb into a tall old pine tree to get a Pigeot's eye view of the scene. As he climbed, he saw multiple indents in the trunk; near the top he could see a faint glow emitting from a head-sized hole.

"I wonder what could be creating that light," he said to himself, "better climb up and see."

When he finally reached the treetop, he peeped inside to find a small group of Sentret and one Charmander.

"That's. . . pre-" He was cut off by a sharp explosion which shook the entire forest and woke up the pokemon inside. "H- hang on guys! I'll make sure you're safe!" Colby shouted, immediately jumping into action, "Loki, make sure these guys get to safety and come find me afterwards."

"Ouah!" Loki replied, sprinting up the tree to the hole.

"Scizor, let's fly!"

At Colby's words, Scizor began to beat his wings at an furiously, and he quickly rose off of the ground. As he ascended and flew by, Colby jumped and grabbed onto it's leg. They flew towards the target location, hoping to find the source of the blast while Roman followed quickly through the trees. Around the target hill the forest was ablaze and the ground was splintered towards the sky.

"This is not natural," Colby thought to himself, "someone is having an intense battle down there! But, who could it be, the target, maybe even the enemy!?"

The team made their way quickly and soon met on the edge of what looked like a newly excavated canyon, and soon concluded it was the result of a powerful beam attack, due to the smoldering ashes at the far end. To the left, more explosions could be heard, and a flickering light was coming from around the hill. They all hurried towards it, Scizor taking to the skies again, and Roman running closely behind Colby. As they curved around the rocky outcroppings, they suddenly began crossing over several unconscious people, all dressed in black, and surrounded by broken rocks, burnt grass, and other signs of combat. They all had pokemon, who were also knocked out - Weezing, Raticate, Zubat, and Meowth made up the piles of KO'd creatures.

"These people look familiar to you, Roman?" Colby asked, "I feel like I've seen them before." Roman nodded yes, but Colby wasn't paying him any attention.

After they had passed about fifteen people, they came to another smoldering impact mark in the ground - on the other side was an enormous fire, no doubt started by a fire type pokemon.

"Looks like Ares could help us clear a path," Colby said, tossing a Nest Ball into the air; out of the ball came a large Talonflame that flew down and perched himself on the branch of a low-growing tree. "Ares! We need an extra brave bird to help us clear a safe path through the blaze!" Colby shouted, "will you be that for us!?"

Ares looked down at the Captain, then to the fire, and back to him. "SCREE," it replied, immediately taking off like a rocket towards the flames. It used Fire Spin and dove into the inferno, sucking all of the heat into a tornado of death, which then followed him to the sky and dissipated in the cold wind. Ares hovered up high for a moment, surveying where the fire had been. When he saw that he had completely put out the fire, he let out a delighted caw, and let himself back into his Pokeball.

Pressing the warm Pokeball to his cheek, Colby whispered "thanks buddy," and placed it back onto his belt. As he did this, a cold wind came down from the hilltop, encouraging them to continue on their mission.

Suddenly, a loud shot rang out, and from behind them, a Hyper Beam went over their heads and collided with a wide tree with a horrific crunch.

"Zor! Sci-scizor!" Scizor roared as he flew quickly overhead.

"He's engaged the enemy! Time to go," Colby shouted, running after his friend.

It wasn't long before the team caught up and saw what Scizor attacked: there was a huge metal airship just beyond the trees, and around it were several men and women all dressed the same, and shouting orders at their pokemon, attempting to counter the storm which was Scizor. The ship itself was quite impressive, with is many windows and large thrusters and propellers. On the side was painted an enormous red 'R.'

"Wait!" Shouted Colby, "I know who these guys are, they're the bad guys we were recruited to beat! Hope you're all ready for a sound thrashing, cause here I come!" The Captain rushed towards the enemy with a fire in his eyes, and Roman right behind him. "Roman, you handle the pokemon. I'll take care of those creepy guys."

Roman ran into the fray, and jumped onto the back of a Weezing, who then tried to shake it off with a Smokescreen and a flurry of sludge balls, but they had no effect on the steel type Roman. The smoke impaired his vision, but only for a moment, as he could use his sensitivity to aura to get around. Taking advantage of the smoke, he dispatched four of the Raticate and one of the Meowth. After it had cleared, Roman saw that Scizor joined him on the ground and was absolutely decimating the low-level Zubats and Koffing, not because they were weak, but because they annoyed them both greatly.

On the outskirts of the battle, Colby was busy fist fighting all of the human opponents, who had obviously not prepared for that kind of battling. As he went along, the Captain broke arms, busted lips open, and slammed skulls into the dirt. As their trainers fell, the enemy pokemon began to fall apart as well, and were slowly being picked off. Just as the last few were about to get beaten, a door on the bottom of the airship cracked open with a loud hiss, and began to lower a ramp. Just inside the opening were several flood lights that were so bright that they stopped the battle in it's tracks. As the ramp lowered, a large figure appeared and block some of the lights and cast a shadow that stretched for almost fifty yards. As the ramp touched the ground, the figure began to walk slowly down and towards Colby.

"GROWF" Roman roared, forcing a Raticate into a pile of snow just before sprinting to his master's side. "Tell your pup to settle down," the figure said loudly, "I ain't gonna hurt you." "Roman." Colby said quietly, "Stand down, okay bud?" The figure was now in clear view. It was an overly buff man, obviously a user of steroids, and a fan of tight suits. His skin was darkly tanned and his hair was pushed forward into an almost-fohawk that looked like he had to use a whole bottle of product to keep it that way. In his toothy grin, one could plainly see that this man didn't brush his teeth. "Ya didn't let me finish," he sighed, "I ain't gonna hurt you, much!" At that, he lunged forward with his fist out. Colby quickly caught it and let it slide up and out of his palm. The man fell forwar, and ran into into Colby's other hand, which lifted him up and tossed him backwards into a snowpile with a yelp.

"Anyone else that 'ain't gonna hurt me much'?" Colby asked. The remaining enemies quickly nodded no and got down on their knees to beg for mercy. "YOU!" a voice suddenly screamed from behind. "You made my tan wash off!" As Colby turned around, the large man jumped out of the snowpile, most of his cheaply made suit now melted off, and his skin tone completely different. He was no longer a deep orange, but rather a sun-bleached and wrinkled bodybuilder. "I'll. . . I'll get you for tha-" he stopped short. His face went from angry to terrified in a moment, and he was now looking past Colby. Colby turned around to see a somewhat short man in an expensive, all black suit, and wearing sunglasses with what seemed to be a red glow coming from behind them. His hair was cleanly combed forward and dark brown, and behind him was about ten grunts.

"Admin One," the man said calmly, "it's time to go. Get in the ship." Immediately, the big guy squealed "y-yes sir, m-mister Admin Seven, sir!" and ran onto the ship, followed by all of the grunts. He then turned to Colby, and said, "you killed thirty-two people. Not enough for the one you came to see though. He beat me. He will destroy you quickly." Without another word, he stepped onto the ramp, and the ship took off.

"What in the heck was all that about," Colby asked, watching the ship fly into the distance. "That guy musta been pretty strong to be giving orders like that, eh Roman?" Roman nodded in agreement. "Now, to find the guy we actually came to see!" The group then walked up the stone path to the top of the hill, where a small cabin sat in silence. As they neared it, they could see that it was made of fat cedar logs, and had a cobblestone chimney that poked out of the black shingled roof. The door was very solid and made of spruce with iron bands on both top and bottom. Colby knocked on it loudly, and soon got an answer: "Go away." "What!?" Colby shouted, "we have been out in freezing wind and deadly fights all night, just to come see you, and all you're gonna do is say 'go away'!? I don't think so! Let us in!" After a few moments of silence, the door opened slowly, and a voice from a box on the inside wall said "come in. Had to make sure those team whatevers weren't coming to recruit me again."

As the group came into the house, Loki slipped into the door just as it closed, and he jumped up onto Colby's shoulder. "Didja save those little guys, Loki" Colby asked. "Yip!" he replied happily. "So." The voice said, "why did you come all this way for little ol' me?" "Because," Colby replied, "the Pokemon League is pulling together a group of people to fight those terrorists, and we need you as our leader!"

"No, I will not."

"Big. . . sky ship. . ." Colby heard in his mind. "It. . . was very. . . big. Landed. . .behind . . . hill nearby. . . target location."

"Are you sure this is what you saw, Scizor?" Colby asked as he turned around.

"Yes," Scizor nodded, "I am. . . sure."

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So Colby can read his Pokemon's mind, or at least Scizor's? Or it's more Colby able to understand what Scizor said? If it's the former, I'm scratching my head over that, though it could be a chance I missed something there.

At Colby's words, Scizor began to beat his wings at an furiously, and he quickly rose off of the ground. As he ascended and flew by, Colby jumped and grabbed onto it's leg. They flew towards the target location, hoping to find the source of the blast while Roman followed quickly through the trees. Around the target hill the forest was ablaze and the ground was splintered towards the sky.

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First bolded part the "beat his wings at an furiously" phrase sounds awkward. Do you just mean "beat his wings furiously" ? Second bolded part "its" as "it's" is a contraction to it is.

The team made their way quickly and soon met on the edge of what looked like a newly excavated canyon, and soon concluded it was the result of a powerful beam attack, due to the smoldering ashes at the far end.

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You have "soon" twice within the same sentence. Taking out the second "soon" would make the sentence read smoother.

The ship itself was quite impressive, with is many windows and large thrusters and propellers.

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I think you mean "its"?

"Wait!" Shouted Colby, "I know who these guys are, they're the bad guys we were recruited to beat!

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The s should be lowercased as "shouted Colby" is a dialogue tag.

I noticed the last few paragraphs you have some of the dialogue lumped together into one paragraph which I find strange as the last chapter you were able to have dialogue separated in each paragraph after a new person speaks.

"GROWF" Roman roared, forcing a Raticate into a pile of snow just before sprinting to his master's side. "Tell your pup to settle down," the figure said loudly, "I ain't gonna hurt you." "Roman." Colby said quietly, "Stand down, okay bud?" The figure was now in clear view. It was an overly buff man, obviously a user of steroids, and a fan of tight suits. His skin was darkly tanned and his hair was pushed forward into an almost-fohawk that looked like he had to use a whole bottle of product to keep it that way. In his toothy grin, one could plainly see that this man didn't brush his teeth. "Ya didn't let me finish," he sighed, "I ain't gonna hurt you, much!" At that, he lunged forward with his fist out. Colby quickly caught it and let it slide up and out of his palm. The man fell forwar, and ran into into Colby's other hand, which lifted him up and tossed him backwards into a snowpile with a yelp.

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(Also noticed you mispelled the bolded part "forward" ).

Here you have both Colby and another character speaking together but in the same paragraph. This is one way to have Colby and the figure's dialogue in their own paragraphs.

"GROWF" Roman roared, forcing a Raticate into a pile of snow just before sprinting to his master's side.

"Tell your pup to settle down," the figure said loudly, "I ain't gonna hurt you."

"Roman." Colby said quietly, "Stand down, okay bud?"

The figure was now in clear view. It was an overly buff man, obviously a user of steroids, and a fan of tight suits. His skin was darkly tanned and his hair was pushed forward into an almost-fohawk that looked like he had to use a whole bottle of product to keep it that way. In his toothy grin, one could plainly see that this man didn't brush his teeth.

"Ya didn't let me finish," he sighed, "I ain't gonna hurt you, much!" At that, he lunged forward with his fist out. Colby quickly caught it and let it slide up and out of his palm. The man fell forward, and ran into into Colby's other hand, which lifted him up and tossed him backwards into a snowpile with a yelp.

Notice how Colby and the other character's lines are in separate paragraphs? I also have the description of the figure in its own paragraph as Colby took a brief moment to look at his appearance.

"What in the heck was all that about," Colby asked, watching the ship fly into the distance. "That guy musta been pretty strong to be giving orders like that, eh Roman?" Roman nodded in agreement. "Now, to find the guy we actually came to see!" The group then walked up the stone path to the top of the hill, where a small cabin sat in silence. As they neared it, they could see that it was made of fat cedar logs, and had a cobblestone chimney that poked out of the black shingled roof. The door was very solid and made of spruce with iron bands on both top and bottom. Colby knocked on it loudly, and soon got an answer: "Go away." "What!?" Colby shouted, "we have been out in freezing wind and deadly fights all night, just to come see you, and all you're gonna do is say 'go away'!? I don't think so! Let us in!" After a few moments of silence, the door opened slowly, and a voice from a box on the inside wall said "come in. Had to make sure those team whatevers weren't coming to recruit me again."

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Another instance where two different characters were speaking but in one huge paragraph.

"What in the heck was all that about," Colby asked, watching the ship fly into the distance. "That guy musta been pretty strong to be giving orders like that, eh Roman?" Roman nodded in agreement. "Now, to find the guy we actually came to see!"

The group then walked up the stone path to the top of the hill, where a small cabin sat in silence. As they neared it, they could see that it was made of fat cedar logs, and had a cobblestone chimney that poked out of the black shingled roof. The door was very solid and made of spruce with iron bands on both top and bottom. Colby knocked on it loudly, and soon got an answer: "Go away."

"What!?" Colby shouted, "we have been out in freezing wind and deadly fights all night, just to come see you, and all you're gonna do is say 'go away'!? I don't think so! Let us in!"

After a few moments of silence, the door opened slowly, and a voice from a box on the inside wall said "come in. Had to make sure those team whatevers weren't coming to recruit me again."

Noticed how I have Colby and the other guy's lines in separate paragraphs. Also the part where Colby and his group were going to the guy's cabin has its own paragraph.

(The w in "We" and c in "Come" should be capitalized ).

I noticed a few grammatical/mechanical mistakes and the ending felt rushed as far as paragraph formatting goes. After a chapter is finished, it's best to set it aside for a day or two and then look at again to catch any mistakes before posting your chapter.

I do like this chapter has quite a bit of action, however! Colby's interactions with his Pokemon are fun (the skydiving at the beginning was cool! XD), and the appearance of Team Rocket is interesting. The overall tone so far makes me think of B-rated action films, but they're still pretty enjoyable and if this is what you're going for I don't mind at all. Looks like Colby will need to do a lot of convincing next chapter and I'm very curious how that will go!

Once again, we join our friend, Captain Colby, on his mission to Northern Sinnoh, which was to convince a certain someone of great power to join with him to fight the growing evil. After much violence, the Captain finally arrived at the target's home, only to discover that he has no intention of joining the team, much less leading it. Will Colby be able to convince Alexander, or will he have to return to the league in defeat?

"No, I will not," the voice said, "there is nothing I want with the league. Way I see it, they're supposed to be the biggest and baddest at what they do, right? Otherwise their authority is a facade. They need someone ousted, they can do it themselves."

All Colby was able to do for a moment was stand there in utter disappointment at this person that people had spoken so fondly of. Even Cynthia, who obviously had a problem with him, admitted that he was strong in both heart and power

"Scizor. Loki. Go outside - this won't take long." Turning back to the communication box, he eventually shouted, "Wait a sec, man, you're telling that that after all that fighting I did, to get to YOU, was for nothing!? I CANNOT believe this, I refuse to believe it! Come out here and at least tell me face to face like a man."

Seconds later, a sliding door opened, revealing a man with a tray of tea. The man was about six feet tall, and had bright brown, kind eyes. All the same, they were the eyes of someone who has witnessed death; Colby recognized this from his own eyes. His reddish - brown hair was long and slicked back behind his ears and around his neck was a black scarf with gray stripes at either end, and over his clothing a long black coat. Behind him floated an Abra with several scuff marks on his body.

"Did he use a mere Abra to defeat that important looking guy? Certainly he can't be serious," Colby thought to himself.

"Well, I'm here. Let's talk about this face to face like men," the man said, "but instead of beating me up, have some tea."

"So you're Alexander, eh? I expected someone. . . ROMAN, NOW! GRAB THE ABRA!"

Immediately, Colby spun around the man and gave him a slight prick on the nape of his neck, which knocked him out. Roman, acting almost as quickly, grabbed the Abra and held him in a sleeper hold until he was also out.

Pulling out a small radio, Colby said into it, "we have the target. Requesting pickup."

Roman carefully placed the Abra onto Alexander's belly, and joined his Master, who had walked over to the window to watch for their ride. As he looked up at the Captain, his eyes began to tear up with nostalgia - this was just like the first missions he went with Colby on. Capturing important monarchs, warlords, and other dangerous powers were the makeup of the early jobs they were assigned. The military had not been as kind to the rest of their squad, but they would always live on in Roman and Colby's heart. Roman was just about to tug his Master's sleeve when he was suddenly grabbed from behind and his mouth was covered so he could not speak. The rag that silenced him smelled strange, and he slowly began to fall asleep. The last thing he saw before falling out was Alexander tackling Colby to the floor.

Some time later, Roman woke up with a jolt in a dark room; the only light came from the doorframe. Outside, he could hear two men yelling at eachother - he could not understand what they were saying, but assumed it was Colby doing what he was best at: being persuasive.

Outside in the main room of the cabin, were indeed Alexander and Colby. The Captain had never been beaten in hand-to-hand combat, so all Alexander could do was stun him for a bit.

"Why did you do that, man!?" Colby shouted, "I just wanted you to help us!"

"So you tried to knock me out!?" Alexander retorted, "That is NOT how you persuade people. Is that how you get dates!?"

"No! I've never ever HAD a date, so HA!"

"That's not even something to brag about!"

"OH!"

"Let's stop yelling - my throat hurts!"

"Mine too!"

With that, the two stopped screaming at each other and finally agreed to actually speak civilly, and sat down over the tea that was prepared earlier. (Which was now cold.)

"So," Colby asked, "how can I convince you to help everyone?"

"Quite frankly, I don't understand why you need my help."

"What do you mean?"

"The last time these guys showed up, a ten year old completely stomped them. Really, the most destruction they were able to do during that time was break a wall, temporarily steal a few pokemon, and take over a building - once again, that was all halted completely by one ten year old."

"Alexander," Colby said quietly, suddenly sullen, "these guys are different from before."

"What do you mean," he replied, noticing the Captain's grimace, "what happened?"

"They- they've killed a lot of people, man."

"What!? How many is a lot!?"

"Almost twenty percent of the Unova Region. Almost 9,000 people. Gone. The Rockets planted a bomb - a really big bomb - at the center of the region and gave everyone a one hour warning. By the time it went off, most everyone had escaped, but. . ."

"Enough. I can tell you are telling the truth. But, can you answer one more question for me? There's a man I know who goes by Cedric. He came by to visit me a small while ago, but I don't know if he had returned to Unova yet by the time the bomb went off."

After thinking for a moment, Colby remembered a woman he had met who was talking about her father, Cedric.

"Well, I've met a Professor Juniper whose dad is named Cedric; any relation?"

"Yes!" Alexander shouted suddenly, "did she mention him?"

"Yes. . . he was returning to Unova when the bomb went off. There was no trace of him, and after a while he was presumed dead. His daughter fervently believes him to be alive, despite his being missing for weeks."

"I see. . . thank you. That's all I need to know," Alexander mumbled.

"Sorry, I couldn't hear you. What did you say?"

"I said," he replied sternly, "I'll join you."

"So you tried to knock me out!?" Alexander retorted, "That is NOT how you persuade people. Is that how you get dates!?"

"No! I've never ever HAD a date, so HA!"

"That's not even something to brag about!"

"OH!"

"Let's stop yelling - my throat hurts!"

"Mine too!"

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Hm, while I can tell you're trying for humor here, its a bit stale to me. Perhaps because I've seen movies with scenes similar to that many times already. I think it would be funnier after Colby realized he bragged about not finding dates he scratches his head in embarrassment and says how Alexander got him there.

Anyways, it's a good thing Alexander is joining Colby now. Like the reference how reason Alexander doubts he could be of any help were the couple times Team Rocket had been defeated by ten year olds. I do wonder how Team Rocket was able to plant a bomb on Unova and why that specific region, though I probably miss that information (if it's already explained somewhere, do let me know! ). Looking forward to next chapter!

Bay Alexison said:

I do wonder how Team Rocket was able to plant a bomb on Unova and why that specific region, though I probably miss that information (if it's already explained somewhere, do let me know! ).

Click to expand...

I'm glad that stuck out in your mind - it was kept vague on purpose. (I promise you'll get an answer soon enough!)

Chapter Four: Sorry it took so long, but I've just moved home from College, and had to be taken to the hospital recently! (I'm okay now) Anyways, enjoy. :)

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"I said," Alexander said sternly, "I'll join you."

These were the last words that Captain Colby had expected to hear after arguing with the man.

"W-wait a sec." Colby eventually said, "you'll help? But I thought you said it wasn't worth your help."

"Aye, I did say that, but I was wrong. I didn't realize what damage they'd done. . . the people they've murdered. I'm sorry I didn't believe you; er, Colby was it?"

"Yes sir! Captain Colby Welch, Pokemon League Special Ops!"

"Perfect. Got any companions besides this Lucario?" He asked, glancing to the corner where Roman stood with his arms crossed.

"Yes, come outside and meet them," Colby said, pulling him into the snow.

Colby reached into a small bag and pulled out two Poke-balls. He quickly threw them onto the ground, releasing a Sawk and a Talonflame; as he did this, Scizor and Loki arrived as well.

"Alright, so this tough guy is Lee," he said, fist-bumping the Sawk, "that pretty bird flying around is Ares, Scizor's real name is Randal, but he prefers Scizor. This little dude is Loki, my shoulder companion. I think that's everyone. . . but I feel like I'm forgetting someone. . . OH! I remember now," he shouted, reaching into his left thigh pocket.

When he pulled his hand out, he had what looked like the bulb of a tulip - but it was squirming! He opened his hand, and in the middle laid a tiny Turtwig; it slowly opened it's eyes, stood up, and yawned while stretching.

"His name is Maximus! I found him one day while camping. I was picking wild onions, and one that I picked was him; he was so cute and tiny, well, I just couldn't help but bring him along! He has a Poke-ball, but he doesn't like it too much."

The Captain then recalled his team and put the balls away.

"So, what about your team?"

"You'll meet them in due time, I promise," Alexander smiled sincerely. "You've met Apollo - the Abra - already. For now, we have to get moving if we're going to acquire a proper team."

"A team? Like, you've already got a task force built distinctly to take on the-"

"No." Alexander interrupted, "I mean, I have a few people that would be perfect against our enemies. The trick is getting them to join us; a few of them are even more hard headed than me,"

After a moment of thought, Colby nodded in agreement. Just then, the helicopter he had called for earlier arrived, hovering over the house.

Alexander glared quickly over at the Captain, thinking he was planning on flying me out of here while I was knocked out!

The chopper hovered low off of the ground so they could enter, and then they were off, back towards Hoenn.

A few hours later, Colby slowly awoke to the smell of the ocean and the sound of wind.

"Whoa. . . I must've dozed off! How long was I out?" Colby asked the Abra that was sitting on his lap.

"Abra ab!" Apollo yawned, "Ab ab ra aaaaaabra!"

"Ah, sleeping beauty is awake I see," Alexander chortled. "It's about time you were up, we've almost reached the target location."

Colby looked over the edge of the chopper and saw several rocky spires rising out of the sea. On some of the larger ones, there was a tuft of grass or maybe a bushel of small trees. Upon most of the smaller spires were the nests of Pokemon - most likely Wingull and Pelipper. When he looked ahead of them, Colby could see an island appear in the light morning fog.

"Is that island where we're heading?"

"Aye, that's where our contact is waiting for us."

They soon landed on the beach of the somewhat tiny island, and told the pilot to return for them the next morning.

"Lets see here. . ." Alexander mumbled, "when I called him, he was just inside the foliage with the rest of his crew, so lets head into the jungle."

"Wait a sec, man," Colby said, "you sure you're ready for a mission in the jungle? There's bound to be a ton of dangerous Pokemon in there - bug types, too. Your Abra is psychic type, which is weak to bug, right?"

"You insult me, Captain! Don't forget who was sent to get who!" Alexander chortled.

"Hehe, I suppose you're right," Colby laughed nervously. This guy is gonna get killed if I'm not careful, he thought.

They then began their trek into the jungle - which was far colder than it looked. As the two got deeper and deeper, they noticed that much of the local wildlife was acting not-so-wild. Even the nest of Scyther they came close to simply calmly shrugged away their presence.

"Colby," Alexander eventually whispered, "did you hear that?"

"Nope. I heard nothing."

"Maybe I'm just hearing things. . . No, I'm pretty sure I heard a splash."

"I heard it that time, too! It's from up ahead. . . Follow me, quietly," the Captain said, crouching low into the ferns.

He led them closer to the source of the sound, which appeared to grow more and more violent. Soon, they could distinctly hear splashing and men cheering. Entering a clearing, the two looked upon a large and sparkling lake with a wooden ship sitting silently near the shore. To their left was the origin of the sound - a group of men jumping around and screaming like maniacs.

"Okay, Al, here's what we're gonna do: first, we- wait! Where are you going!?"

Alexander had gotten up and was walking towards the crowd. As he approached, he looked back and motioned for Colby to follow. Suddenly, just as they reached the outskirts of the group, it parted quickly. As it did, a Gyrados rushed forth from it, roaring and wiggling all around on the sand. Apparently, it had no interest in the strangers that had just walked up, but rather was trying to get a man off of it's neck.

After almost a minute of tossing it's head side to side, it finally tuckered out, and fell, exhausted, at Alexander's feet.

The recently quieted crowd then re-erupted in an explosion of cheers and hollers.

"Atta way to show 'em, Cap'n!" "That's our Cap, alright!" "That was wicked!" Many of them shouted, while most just made unintelligible squawks and whoops.

Then, they all ceased as a hand raised from behind the Gyrados' head.

"Now, now, mates," a voice shouted, "the beast put up a good fight! Not a good enough one, but a fight nonetheless!" The voice laughed loudly.

The crowd again erupted in laughter and cheers.

"Ah! But where be me manners!?" He again yelled, "we have guests! C'mon strangers, join us in our jollity, and become our mates!"

Finally, the man came around the Gyrados and revealed who he was. As he rounded, Colby got a good look at him. His golden brown hair was long and unkempt, as well was his beard. While his voice was rough and loud, his facial features were soft and kind. Behind his navy eyes burned a self-certainty that could make even a scholar question himself. He was tall and skinny, and wore. . . a red pirate costume.

"He CAN'T be serious, can he!?" Colby whispered to Alexander.

"Amazingly enough, he is."

The two looked back to the pirate, only to see him standing atop the head of the Gyrados, standing in a heroic pose.

"Welcome mates!" He screamed down at them, "to Wailmer Cove! I am the ruler of this island! I am the Captain of this crew! I am Pirate King Caspian!"

Noticed a few punctuation dialogue mistakes.

"W-wait a sec. (replace period with comma)" Colby eventually said, "you'll help? But I thought you said it wasn't worth your help."

Click to expand...

"No. (replace period with comma) " Alexander interrupted, "I mean, I have a few people that would be perfect against our enemies. The trick is getting them to join us; a few of them are even more hard headed than me,"

Click to expand...

"Ah! But where be me manners!?" He again yelled, "we have guests! C'mon strangers, join us in our jollity, and become our mates!"

Finally, the man came around the Gyrados and revealed who he was. As he rounded, Colby got a good look at him. His golden brown hair was long and unkempt, as well was his beard. While his voice was rough and loud, his facial features were soft and kind. Behind his navy eyes burned a self-certainty that could make even a scholar question himself. He was tall and skinny, and wore. . . a red pirate costume.

"He CAN'T be serious, can he!?" Colby whispered to Alexander.

"Amazingly enough, he is."

The two looked back to the pirate, only to see him standing atop the head of the Gyrados, standing in a heroic pose.

"Welcome mates!" He screamed down at them, "to Wailmer Cove! I am the ruler of this island! I am the Captain of this crew! I am Pirate King Caspian!"

Click to expand...

First part letter "w" should be capitalized. That last sentence should be written like this: "Welcome mates," he screamed down at them, "to Wailmer Cove! I am the ruler of this island! I am the Captain of this crew! I am Pirate King Caspian!

I thought the reason why Colby caught Turtwig was cute, haha. Also, looks like he and Alexander stumbled upon a real pirate. There needs to be more of those in Pokemon fanfiction. :P Looking forward to how the two deal with Caspian next chapter!

*Chapter five, finally! Sorry this one took so long, I've just had a bit of a health issue, but I'm alright and writing again!*

"I am Pirate King Caspian!" The man shouted as he leapt from the Gyrados' head, "and YE, me new mates, are just in time for the Hearty Party!"

"Party!? What's the occasion?" Colby quickly asked, practically jumping over Alexander's shoulders.

At that. the Pirate King turned around dramatically, lifted one hand to the sun, and howled, "why, me hearty crew o' course! Believe you me, mate, when ye've been with a group this loyal, why, ye barely NEED a reason to have a shin-dig!"

"Sounds good enough to us, right Alexander?"

"WAIT!" Screamed the pirate, halting all festivity. "Did ye call that one. . . Alexander?"

"So what if I did?" Asked the Captain, switching to the defensive.

"So what?" The pirate continued, "SO WHAT!? If he be who I thinks he is, and I usually thinks rightly, then he be an old friend o' the Pirate King! Am I thinking rightly, mate?"

"Yes, you are thinking. . . rightly, " Alexander said calmly. "I'm almost insulted you didn't recognize me, oh Pirate King."

Once again, Alexander had left Colby completely speechless.

"Al, you know this guy?" He eventually asked.

"Hmm? Oh, yes. His mother practically adopted me," he answered.

"Aye! He'll never be a brother to me. . . but I love and respec' 'em jest the same," Caspian butted in.

Alexander rolled his eyes and quietly chuckled while his companion tried to process the statement.

"Oh, but I dye-grass! Alexander, ye no-doubt came here fer a reason, aye? Come! Come!" The pirate motioned for them to follow, "Crew! Keep up with yer jollities and parteries! I must have a parle with these two."

The men immediately went back to their drinking, (probably seawater, Colby thought) dancing, and wrestling while the three men walked aboard the wooden ship, which was named 'Archie's Little Bounty.'

Once on deck, he led them to his personal quarters. Inside, he whistled, and a Chatot flittered across the room to sit on his shoulder. As the two looked around, they noticed that there were several nice paintings of women and their water-type Pokemon adorning the walls. Lighting the room were oil candles placed along shelves. In either of the forward corners were piles of glittering gold objects, silver chalices, pearl necklaces, and several other priceless treasures. At the back was a large mahogany desk covered in picture frames and worn-out papers, and a big jar with a Chinchao inside of it.

"Alrighty now, mates!" He laughed gruffly, plopping into a desk-chair. "Tell this salty dog why ye came!" He clapped his hands, and the Chinchao lit its antennae, lighting the desk.

"I came to get a team, Caspian." Alexander stated quickly.

"A team? Ahh, you mean YOUR team, aye!? Why didn't ye jest say so!"

"You wouldn't let me say so."

"Well the past is behind us! Lemme get me yer team for ye!" Caspian said while walking to the back of the room.

"Alexander," Colby nudged him, "is this the team that you were talking about before?"

"Well, this is a team that I've mentioned before, if that's what you mean."

"Oh, so these are your-"

"Here's yer Pokemon, mate!" Caspian returned, holding a small wooden chest.

He opened the chest, revealing a set of three Premier Balls and one red and black one, with an ornate 'M' painted on it.

Alexander slowly picked up each one and whispered something to each one, starting with the 'M' Ball and continuing until he reached the final Premier Ball. He breathed deeply and finally, trembling, reached for it. As he grasped it, it exploded open, and out came an Aggron that roared and tackled Alexander through the doors and to the deck outside. Colby, panicked, ran outside and attempted to pull the steel creature off of his friend. While the Pirate King nearly fell out of his chair laughing, the beast picked Alexander up and above his head and roared again,

"Alright, Aegus, I missed you too!" He finally shouted back, "how have you been, buddy!?"

"Aye, that looks about right." Caspian smiled at Colby, pulling him off of Aegus' tail, "two years be a long time t' not see yer first mate!"

"Two years? Is that how long he was in that cabin?"

"What cabin arr ye referin' to? Th' one in narthern Sinnoh, or Steven's in Mossdeep?"

"The one in Northern Sinnoh - with all the snow. I had to go there to recruit him."

At this, The Pirate King turned around and faced Colby. "Recruited? Fer what, might I inquire?"

"I'm not sure if I should tell you. . . No offense, but I don't know if the League wants me running my mouth about serious matters."

"The League? As in, that thar Pokemon League in Evarr Grande City?"

"The one and the same!"

After a short while of stroking his beard, Caspian turned to Alexander, who had finally gotten Aegus back into his Pokeball, and loudly whispered something at him. Alexander shrugged and nodded 'yes.'

Turning back to Colby, he grabbed him by both shoulders, closed in until their noses nearly touched and Colby could smell the fish on his breath. After what seemed like a short, smelly eternity, Caspian finally spoke, and said two words.

"Posing Contest."

"Posing Contest?"

"Posing Contest!" The pirate grinned.

As I was reading, I noticed several punctuation dialogue mistakes. I won't go through them all, but I'll point out the more common mistakes I noticed under spoilers.



Some other parts I want to mention real quick:

The men immediately went back to their drinking, (probably seawater, Colby thought) dancing, and wrestling while the three men walked aboard the wooden ship, which was named 'Archie's Little Bounty.'

Click to expand...

Named after Archie of Team Aqua? :P

Alexander slowly picked up each one and whispered something to each one, starting with the 'M' Ball and continuing until he reached the final Premier Ball. He breathed deeply and finally, trembling, reached for it. As he grasped it, it exploded open, and out came an Aggron that roared and tackled Alexander through the doors and to the deck outside. Colby, panicked, ran outside and attempted to pull the steel creature off of his friend. While the Pirate King nearly fell out of his chair laughing, the beast picked Alexander up and above his head and roared again,

Click to expand...

Quite a reunion there, haha.

Turning back to Colby, he grabbed him by both shoulders, closed in until their noses nearly touched and Colby could smell the fish on his breath. After what seemed like a short, smelly eternity, Caspian finally spoke, and said two words.

"Posing Contest."

"Posing Contest?"

"Posing Contest!" The pirate grinned.

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I'll admit that seems a bit random to me unless the Pirate King wants a posing contest as a way to have Colby talk a bit more about the League. Either way, going to assume that is what will happen next chapter, heh.

A more laid back chapter and slightly on the short side, but it gets the job done. Looking forward to more!

"Posing Contest!" The pirate grinned.

"P O S I N G?" Colby mouthed desperately towards his partner, but Alexander only met him with a smirk and a nod.

The Pirate King quickly took the confused captain by the arm, and led him off of the deck and back to the shore. Word of competition apparently spreads very quickly among Caspian's hearty crew, as many of them had gotten together and made a surprisingly well constructed staging area and a misspelt banner, which read 'POZIN CANTEST TADAY' in bright blue paint. As the two approached, they could hear murmuring around the crowd that was gathering. In front of them stood a young woman at the top of a freshly-built stairway.

"Nyar! Chelsey!" The pirate shouted at her.

"Hyar! Cap'n!" Chelsey shouted in reply.

Chelsey, the captain observed, did not look like she would fit in with a hundred rowdy pirates. Her outfit, for one, was a set of cargo pants that were too long, a bright red tee, and a navy blue vest. That, with her short, well kept brown hair and glasses, said she was more of a book worm. Her voice, however, was that of an experienced sailor - loud and confident.

"Come one! Come all, ye hearty crew mates!" She shouted into a plastic cone, it be time for the legendary Posin' Contest!"

At that, many hoots and hollers rang out, and a great many more pirates came, seemingly from nowhere! Before they knew it, they were surrounded by a huge crowd of cheering and wild pirates.

"Holy Arceus, what have I gotten into?" Colby muttered under his breath, looking for Alexander in the crowd.

Before he could find his friend, the crowd suddenly became silent, and several lights shone onto the stage, temporarily blinding him.

"Alright mates!" He heard Chelsey yell, "Who be ready fer a Posing Contest!?"

She was met with several cheers.

"Fantastic! Now, I'll be elaberatin' on the rules. The Posing Contest will consist of three attempts to best yer opponent in making a manly, powerful, or all-around awesome pose! My partner, Vince will decide the winner after all three chances are up. Be ye warned, though - he's very picky!"

She then pulled out a Luxury Ball and released a Vaporeon, who barked at the competitors, signaling them to begin.

"I hope yer ready, boyo! I ain't nevarr been beat," Caspian said between laughs. "Specially not in a Posin' Contest!"

With that, the Pirate King ripped off his coat and shirt, revealing that, despite his wiry appearance, he was well built! He jumped forward and pulled his arms above his head, showing off his bulked arms. The crowd screamed with whistles and cheers.

"Ohh, I get it! You're going down, Pirate King," Colby whispered to himself.

He too jumped out, and knelt onto one knee, and extended his own arms in either direction, and flexed so hard that his shirt ripped clean off!

The crowd went wild with fist bumps, shouts, and chest bumps.

"By gar! That's what I like t' see!" Caspian yelled as he arched his back, and pulled himself into a heroic, spear throwing stance.

Colby retorted with a somersault onto his hands, and lifted himself onto the fingers of his left hand, to which the crowd exploded into screams of awe.

Great Gyrados! I might lose this, unless I be pullin' me special move! Caspian thought to himself.

The Pirate King then jumped into the air and span himself. While he span, he pulled out a tiny bottle and opened it. The glittering contents poured out, and created a golden, shining twister around him in the air. As he landed, the glitter floated around the air, filling it with a golden glow that made the crowd 'oooh' and 'aaah' for several moments.

"I got one more chance to win this," the captain mumbled. "I got it! Lee! It's time to Bulk Up!"

Colby then released his Sawk, Lee, who used Bulk Up, and began to copy his masters moves. The two proceeded to go through several complicated routines that combined Spartan Pankration with Mai Thai. Several seconds of graceful kicks and powerful faux strikes finally ended with the two punching the air several times, increasing in speed each time until they were both a blur - the final one creating a small shockwave that created the sound of a gunshot, and silenced the crowd completely. They then turned to each other and bowed - Lee then returned to his Pokeball.

Silently, Vince walked towards the competitors, and paced between them for a small while. The audience had returned to talking about their favorite poses and parts of the contest. Then, the Vaporeon barked and the crowd hushed once again - Vince had chosen the winner.

The Captain slowly opened his eyes to see the pokemon staring him in the face. Shocked, he jolted and looked at Caspian, who also looked surprised. The crowd began to murmur:

"Did - did the army man just win? Did this guy just beat the Pirate King?"

"It looks like the Pirate King's reign has ended on this stage!" Shouted Chelsey, breaking through the crew's mumbles.

"SO IT SEEMS!" Laughed Caspian, "I ain't NEVARR been beat like this, mates! But, I am supposin' that it's about me time… Congradenlatons Cap'n Colby!"

"I… won? I beat you!?" He stammered, "HAHA! I BEAT THE PIRATE KING AT HIS OWN GAME!"

Finally a cheer roared from the crowd as the Captain danced around the stage, while Capsian laughed hysterically. Even Alexander smiled and clapped a bit.

A short while later, the three met back aboard the ship.

"Alrighty mates… why don't ye tell me why ye recruited th' good Alexander?" The Pirate King smiled.

"Hey, I won the contest fair and square - I don't have to tell you anything," Colby said sternly.

"Team Rocket is killing people, and they can't handle it alone." Alexander interrupted calmly, "so they sent this military guy to come and kidnap me so I could fix it."

Caspian cut a grin at Colby and raised his eyebrows - Colby quickly glared at Alexander and grabbed him by the shoulders.

"I. Won. So. He. Wouldn't. Know!" He said through gritted teeth.

Alexander merely looked down and smiled, "I'm sorry, I just... don't care."

Once again, the Pirate King burst out laughing, and hugged Alexander away from Colby's angry hands.

"Listen here, military matey," Caspian nudged the Captain, "ye couldn't have chosen a bettarr guy! He won't tell ya, but I seen him back when he were a-"

His words were interrupted by a loud blast outside.

"What in th' name o' Arrceus is goin' on out der'!" The Pirate yelled into a pipe on his desk.

"Cap'n! Cap'n! We be under attack sir!" Someone finally replied, "they be comin' from th' sky in airships!"

"An attack? Where do you need us," Colby said, snapping to seriousness.

"I be need'n ye on the field with th' crew - they look up to ye both! I'll stay on th' ship and send me commands from here."

"Right. Alright Colby, you're with me," Alexander said, suddenly becoming very stern, shocking Colby.

The two then ran outside to see the shore covered in small and smoldering craters, and much of the jungle on fire. The crew was already in action, some fighting hand-to-hand, and others using their pokemon - mostly water types like Krabby and Corphish, but also a few using Mightyena.

Chelsey was among those in the right field, her Vaporeon fighting by her side, and also evidently commanding the crew there.

"Colby, do you see that? She's got the right side handled well. You get the center, and I'll take care of the left. Sound good?"

"Yeah. See you in a few," the Captain shouted as he ran down the gangplank and into the fighting."

Alexander followed behind him for a short while before breaking off and running towards the left battlefield.

He pulled out two pokeballs, "ok guys, it's time to get back in the swing of this! Aegus! Prometheus! Let's go!"

Noticed quite a few grammar mistakes. Like before, I won't go through all of them but will pinpoint the more common ones.



With that out of the way, the posing contest was fun (and though Vince being the one to choose is cute, haha)! Interesting Colby beats the Pirate King. I'll admit though sometimes whenever Colby is referred as The Captain I got confused who you're referring to. That's why epithets (the doctor, the teacher, ect) are only used on some occasions in writing. Too bad it's short lived once they were attacked. Looking forward to see how that unfolds!