I'll reply, but if you want to continue we should probably take it to PM. I don't really want my VMs cluttered up with debates on Christianity, but I'm more than willing to discuss it, lol.
I have unique opinions on being raised a Christian...maybe that's because I ended up knowing more about my religion when I was a devout Catholic than people raised in it, because of my 3 years of theology in school and my years of classes before I got baptized.
Have you ever read anything on how to boost your confidence and feel better about yourself? One of the most common ways is to "pretend to be confident". People tell you, even if you're uncomfortable with it and don't feel confident, that if you pretend, eventually it will come naturally and you'll end up becoming confident yourself. My reply to your idea of commanding is in the same vein. While humans don't always want to do the right thing, if they try because they're forced to, often it becomes something they do naturally. That's the idea behind command; at first it's hard for you to think "How can I possibly love someone that I don't agree with?!" but it gets easier and then it becomes strange to imagine that in the past, you hated people for their decisions.
Now to handle what you said on Timbjerr's profile. As far as people saying homosexuality is wrong...if you say that you think drinking juice is wrong, does that mean you'll spew hatred towards anyone that drinks juice? Why is this any different? If he had been taking another part of religion, i.e. trying to convince others to listen to him/follow him, I would agree with you, but in this case, he has the right to have his own morals. If you're an atheist or agnostic, you can understand the idea of subjective morals. He may not want to be gay, but he can still be respectful towards gay people, which I see no reason to think that he's not.
Say you have a brother you love. Say he kills someone. Would you still love him? Of course you would, he's your brother and that doesn't change who he is. Would you want to kill someone or think killing is right? That's the idea behind what this person is saying. It's pretty presumptuous to assume that just because he doesn't agree with homosexuality, he doesn't love his cousin who's gay.
If you want to continue in PM, go ahead. (: