Serious Does it really matter what others think of you?

[moon]

How big of a deal, to you, is the opinion others have of you?

Is it very different in different situations? Such as at work vs among friends in the freetime.

In a more general sense: should people be much concerned with what others think of them?

 

[gimmepie]

Yes and no?

At a personal level, you don't owe it to anyone else to be a certain person. If someone likes you then that's great, if they don't then that's not really your problem usually. It's important to stay true to yourself.

We don't live in a vacuum though and the reality is that how other people see you is very important. It affects work, relationships, hobbies, financial agreements, judicial rulings etc etc etc

 

[Sorvete]

Social-wise, I don't think I do care that much when I'm around friends, family, etc. Though I do feel unsafe about certain customs or behaviors when I spend my time alone, or am hanging out with people I'm not familiarized with. But generally, I don't give a damn about what others think of me. The only person I should be pleasing is myself.

 

[alisaie]

I try not to because i have enough social anxiety as it is but of course there are just times when it just can't be helped. Even when i say it doesn't matter sometimes i find that it did affect me to some degree so i then have to find a way to release myself from the extra stress.

 

[Nina]

I wish it didn't matter to me as much as it does. You should always be agreeable, but you also need to know that sometimes people will dislike you for reasons you can't control. I guess it's about knowing what is or isn't in your control, and what's really your responsibility to do (as it's not always worth it).

 

[colours]

Man, this thread really hits close to home, huh.

I suppose the long and short of it for me is, for the most part, yes and no.

I've always tried to operate under the whole "I'm not going to care what anyone thinks of me but my own friends", but that collides headfirst into my personal philosophy of attempting to always create a positive first impression, no matter who it is. Even if it's some random stranger down the street -- like... I wouldn't care what they think on a personal level because I think that's way too much stress and anxiety for me to worry about, but I do care about, at the very least, appearing like a nice person and hoping that I come across as such.

I guess that's really the extent of it. If some irrelevant person thinks less of me.... that sucks, but I've already done my part and I don't think I can really change their mind on that. I'm not going to go through all sorts of gymnastics to change a mind that's not willing to change on its own. Those people who are willing to give me a chance, those people who are willing to see who I really am, it's really those people who's thoughts I value above all else.

 

[moon]

I used to care way too much, and get really upset if I found out that I wasn't really worth much to others. These days I'm more relaxed, but I still really do care. I want people to like me and think of me as a certain kind of person. But I hope I don't take it too far anymore: if I realize that I don't really like or respect someone - often because they are generally respect-less or manipulative or treat others badly - then I don't bother trying to adjust in any way to them, because I actually don't care much what they think of me. For people I do respect and like, it matters much more. This is basically true both in my workplace and in private.

 

[starseed galaxy auticorn]

It varies for me. Like, I try not to care... but most of it is because of social anxiety. So like, when I want to talk to people... I worry that they'll find me to weird or random and not want to talk to me. It's happened at times, and it makes me feel self-conscious at times. Not so much they don't really like me or anything like that. Just that I know how awkward my mind is that makes communicating "the same" much more difficult. When it comes to appearance, I could careless what people think.

I'll be honest here... I usually hide the fact that I actually do care. I'll tell people I actually don't care or something, but in reality... it's the opposite. It does depend on how close I am to the person too.

 

[Alex]

Short answer is no, but a level of awareness for how you're being perceived is an asset.

Generally, I care what other people think of me. I want to be liked, which means that if somebody doesn't like me, I might've done something wrong in their eyes and so it bothers me. But, as we all know, we have no control over what people think of us. Not everyone will like us, not ever. So it's wasted energy to care too much what people think.

But seeing as we live in a society, empathy and a general awareness for how people might react to your actions is important. So while you shouldn't care what people think of you, you should act in a respectful manner.

I tend to care a lot more what my friends & family think of me than work acquaintances. Work people's perceptions only matter in terms of work ethic and ability, in my experience. Friends and family are the relationships I want to foster.

Also, closely related is embarrassment, and how people see you after you've done something embarrassing. It can be very hard to handle, but generally speaking, people are mostly thinking about themselves, and the memory of the embarrassing thing you did will fade much quicker in their minds than your own. Whatever was done, it's in the past, and if somebody insists on bringing it up, cut ties. They're not good people.

 

[Megan]

More than may be good for my sanity. Granted, I always try to remember that most people are way to busy with themselves and that therefore they don't really care as much.

At the same time: if you want to fit into your social circle/society, caring about what others think of you may just be important. If they believe you to be an idiot, people won't bother with you unless they have to. (seen this more than enough times)

 

[Hands]

I mean to a degree sure, I hate knowing that someone I care about views me poorly over something I've said or done. But at the same time, no one in this world is worth more than your self respect and as long as you are righteous in your mind and heart that's all what should matter, even if it changes how people view you.

 

[ShinyUmbreon189]

I could careless what someone thinks of me. I'm only human... If someone wants to be judgmental that's on them, and they should address that issue to themselves. At the end of the day they know a damn thing about me nor am I walking this planet to be liked from everyone. If you like me, cool. If ya don't, don't assume shit you know nothing about. It's that simple really.
With that being said... It's not ones position to judge another. You can only judge yourself, for humans make mistakes and the key is forgiving oneself. Too many are worried about what others are doing, rather than focusing on what they should be doing.

 

[pastelspectre]

to a certain degree, yes. certain family members? i could care less. sadly i do care a lot what people think of, mainly because of i want to say a combination social anxiety and trauma i endured but who knows. i'm trying to work on it. it's difficult. a lot of people think of me as shy and quiet but i am really not when you get to know me.

it just takes a while for me to break open my shell for lack of better terms.

 

[Cid]

Nah. At least I don't think so.

Just be yourself, make sure you aren't hurting others or yourself, and don't be a dick.

Easier said than done because humans are social creatures and we live to please but hey, what else are you gonna strive to do

 

[Simply Dunsparce]

It mostly just depends on situation. If it's someone who I want to leave an impression on, then yes. Otherwise I'm too socially unaware to know how they think of me.

 

[User Anon 1848]

I worry about giving people the wrong impression since I don't always express my thoughts and feelings the way I mean to.

 

[Eatinabird]

Personally, I could care less what anyone else thinks of me. At the end of day, what's important is how I view myself. I mean, if your so concerned what someone else thinks of you, maybe you really need to evaluate who you are.

 

[Her]

Authenticity is both the result of one's reaction to being observed and one's desire to be observed - on a fundamental level, it matters what others think of you, because it is a part of the huge process of forging one's identity. Being yourself in the face of others is a conscious decision no less calculated and manufactured than the decision to alter and/or diminish yourself to fit either a) your desired role in life or b) the role desired by others, on a professional or personal level. Reducing the anxiety I feel about social pressures to these fundamental truths does a lot to help me 'wave away' the negativity of those pressures, since we forget that social pressure is a good thing in many cases. So do I care what others think of me? Of course I do. Everyone does. But it is letting those perceptions drive and challenge me that I have the choice in reacting to.

 

[Sydian]

i wish i didn't have anxiety so that i didn't care what people thought of me. i don't want to care. but i can't put that to bed so easily, either.

 

[Noblejanobii]

Unfortunately because I want to work in politics, others' opinions of me do and will always matter. To what degree will vary on where in the spectrum I work, as obviously that'll change whose opinions matter. If I became a candidate, that's a lot more opinions to consider. I'd have to think about my constituents, my staff, the fellow members of the party I'm running for, people already in office that are in the same or similar positions, etc. That's part of why I don't really want to run as a candidate. If I became a member of staff, people's opinions will still matter since job turnover for staff members is fairly high and in order to get hired by another person if my guy doesn't get re-elected other staff members and other politicians need to have a good opinion of me. So while I don't really like that it does, unfortunately for me, the opinions of others will always matter.

Unless I become a lobbyist in which case you're just kinda universally hated and there's nothing anyone can do about it.