friends???

[Towerizer]

so I'm like 1000000X terrible at making friends, like i only have one friend (seriously just one) IRL that i can call a real friend, so, how do you guys/gals make friends? like on here and in person, i'm terrible at talking to people and never know how to properly initiate conversation, if you guys and gals could help me out it would be much appreciated, thanks for the read at least =)

 

[Flushed]

Tbh, I don't initiate at all. I don't want to force friendships ever (conversely, not saying that's what people who initiate are doing), so I kinda just sit around and wait for things to happen. Admittedly not the bet strategy, seeing as I have very little friends on or offline haha.

Wow, sorry I'm no help haha.

 

[ElGuapoAssassin]

It's quality over quantity. I rather have 1 or 2 good friends than 10 crappy ones. Though I do enjoy meeting new people that I click with, all of my friends I've known for over 10 years and I wouldn't trade them for the world. I know what you mean about having trouble initiating conversation, as I'm the same way. I'm one of those people where I talk when you ask me a question, I don't know how to really join in on conversations, unless I'm drunk, then it's super easy.

 

[Honest]

In person, well, you just have to learn to not be quiet. Personally, that's not an issue, apparently I'm very adequate at instigating and holding conversation. My friends' words, not mine. But you need to be able to talk if you want to get anywhere with anybody. Not like you can speak via telepathy, so learn to work that jaw. Anyway, if you've got the habit of conversing down, it's fairly simple after that. Well, not really, actually. The person you are will definitely be a variable in if you can become friends with a person. Be too friendly, and it might come of as weird. Be too solemn, and it'll come off as weird. I guess it matters what the person in question also likes. Essentially, don't act annoying is the best way to go, though even that is subjective. Anyway, keep talking, and if you really want to be friends with someone, plan ahead. You can't just be friends with someone after only talking to them once, you've gotta make that commitment. It's one of the easier commitments to make in life, I think, but the work is still there.


Online? Not very different, except everything is via text. There's more to it, and it's slightly more complex while at the same time easier (psychological stuff and whatnot) but it's definitely not impossible.

 

[mayuyu]

I'm pretty good at initiating conversations. like a previous poster said, it helps to ask questions.

find someone that you want to be friends with (make sure that they're by themselves so other people don't interrupt), then say hi and ask them something like "hi, do you know where the bathroom is? I'm so lost."

it helps to agree with whatever they say:
"yeah it's my first time here too!"

and then introduce yourself
"so my name is...what's yours?"

now you two are acquaintances and you should proceed to try to find similar interests so that you two could be friends. always try to ask them questions about themselves. that way, you seem interested and engaged, while at the same time, they're doing most the conversing if you're not into too much talking, but try to talk a little about yourself too!

 

[Meganium]

For me, I find it easier to make friends online rather than irl, because you don't have that "face-to-face" contact and everything. But either or, I still get nervous and anxious when meeting someone new no matter what. I just chill myself out, smile, and say hello. Because you'll never know what might happen next after you greet! :)

Always be helpful around. Compliment. Be a little generous. Smile everywhere you go. Don't be shy to at least talk about how nice the weather is or how awful the traffic was earlier. It may lead you to many many things.

 

[Nick]

I only have two IRL friends, so I don't know either.

 

[Aslan]

I have a bunch of irl friends. The only problem is, I have no idea how I met them. Some of my friends I met through other friends. And then I met their friends as well. See how complicated it is? I rarely remember how I clicked with a certain person. It doesn't matter though, they're all great friends regardless. Some of them I've known for seven or eight years now.

Online isn't too hard for me. It's way easier without the face to face thing. The problem is though, sometimes its hard to tell who's being their genuine self and who's faking it. Regardless, some of my best friends are online people. And some of those friends are from PC. So what do you know. :D

My advice would be just be yourself. Don't bother being friends with someone if they can't accept you for you. Other helpful things would be being courteous, try and keep the conversation light and interesting and ask questions. I'd say make the first move if possible. If everyone followed the logic of waiting for someone to come to them, then no one would have friends. And that'd be really awkward. Just my personal opinion. XD

 

[Corvus of the Black Night]

I just literally walk up to people I think are interesting and start talking to them.

lol

No, really though. And if they're not turned off by my mannerisms or my I TALK ALL THE TIME ism then we meet up again and if it keeps up we're friends. It might drift though.

I met my best friend literally from walking out of my film class after the class was done. I just saw him sitting there on a bench all quietly and I was like lol you look interesting. So I talked to him and I learned a lot of things about him and he was really interesting and we had a conversation. We exchanged skypes and the rest is history lol

also # of friends is not important its the integrity of your friends. I have like only 3 friends I would think to call my "real friends" but they're so important to me and they mean a lot to me and I can trust them with anything.

 

[Warrior Rapter]

When talking to someone I've never met before, I find it helps to have a common interest, something that you can use to start a conversation and see where it goes. If your a shy person, it helps to be observant to find tells of what they like. If you see something you like as well, after a modest hello, follow up with a point toward whatever the sign was and "I see you like -insert topic- too." The worst case scenario is you find out whatever it is doesn't originally belong to them, but have still started a conversation that may or may not continue.

By the same token, I'm a bit reserved. I have trouble talking to someone I have little in common with because I feel like I'm going to bore them with details of something they have no interest in. And I'm one of those people who feels like if I can't say something worthwhile, I just shut my mouth, a habit I'm trying to break.

 

[█▄ █▄█ ▄█▀ ▀█▀]

I didn't know so many people at PC had problems making friends. :O

I have a lot of friends. All of them are close, yeah, but maybe only three-four I consider super close. Those guys I feel I can share almost anything with.

Making friends, imo, is easy if you're able to initiate conversations. It helps if the person in question himself is a new guy in town and doesn't know many people. You can just go say 'hi, you new?', introduce yourself to them, talk to them a bit about how they ended up in your neighbouthood/school etc. And just keep it going for a bit. Talk to them every once in a while, maybe even with excuses like borrowing notes or lending them a helping hand with whatever they're doing. Over time, you're bound to get close. Just saying 'hi', introducing yourself and then trying to know if you share interests and then talking of said interests works for anyone, tbh.

My friendship with my crush started sort of differently, though. One of my friends was her best friend and he sung praises of me to her lmao. So we just became friends without me having to try much. We were talking and I was playing with her hair and complimenting how soft and silky they are and **** in no time haha

 

[Shining Raichu]

I tend to default into friends through other friends, so I don't make my own that often. I kinda just hope that if I talk enough I'll stumble into saying something interesting :3

 

[mikey]

Online, I usually initiate conversations with people and eventually build friendships from there. If it were only that easy in real life though. I mean, I guess it could be, but I am really shy so its harder for me.

 

[shatter501]

Just be yourself and be friendly

 

[Controversial?]

I have like 10 actual like "best" friends, I'd say, and I've known all of them since I've been like 12 which is probably why. We're in a fairly tight-knit social group, so over time I got to know all of them really well.

But I've got a large amount of friends/acquaintances who I just met through simply talking to them. I haven't been out socialising in ages, so I'm not in the best mindset atm, but what I do is when I get to a party or event or anything I challenge myself to talk to everyone I see. (which ios usually the first person only, then I've made pretty good friends with them haha) If you're worried about running out of something to say, don't be. Just talk about whatever the **** you wanna talk about. I used to have anxieties about talking to people, but what's the worst that could happen? They could close off, think you're weird or just be a dick. Nothing wrong with that; if that happens, who cares? **** them. Talk to the next one.

Surely instigating opportunity - the simplest of which is just talking to someone - is much better than just sitting around and waiting for a circle of friends to just fall around you?

 

[Knor]

Most of my good IRL friends that I end up making, are usually through a mutual friend. Of course, I meet THAT person through a mutual friend, through a mutual friend... I probably met those first mutual friends in class, got to talking about not-class stuff.

Online, I guess through means of places like PokéCommunity. With a site like this, there are SO MANY common interests, that it's ridiculous. On games like Call of Duty or Warcraft, the common interest is there. Get to know them during/after the game, talk to them, etc.

 

[Dreg]

I don't think I've made a good friend in years. A lot of my good friends have either disappeared, or are busy with real life. I still have one good friend but I don't see her enough.

Sometimes my friendships happens out of the blue, no real technique to it XD

 

[acatfrommars]

I'm good at making friends, sometimes I think too good. Too many people in "the wrong crowd" want to hang out with me. I've been good ever since I was young, I don't know why. Especially since I enjoy being alone more than hanging out with people, I don't know why I have this quality. lol

I hang out with all sorts of different people: jocks, preps, druggies, "nerds".