I don't know if I'm going to explain this well enough, but here goes:
I'm actually genuinely kinda appalled that you seem more concerned with our responses than the homophobic statements made but.... ok, i guess. Not gonna lie when I say that I'm confused why you think that's more concerning.
The issue these days is less the laws (in the countries most people here are from anyway) and more the views people hold in their hearts. So you have to change that. Because, if you don't, the situation will never get get any better.
But the thing is, treating them like sub-human filth that must be cleansed from the world is one of the fastest ways to get people to
not change. It simply reinforces to themselves that they are right. Even if one is capable of thinking rationally enough to come to the theoretical conclusion that you can't generalize, you still need evidence to support any claim. So if people continue to be openly hostile towards people who aren't exactly pro-LGBTQ, you make it seem like the evidence is in fact that X group is bad, even though we both know that's not really the case. And so they aren't going to change, they aren't going to become accepting of LGBTQ people, and being LGBTQ will never become normal in society like being straight and cis is, as these people will invariably pass it (discrimination) on to the next generation, and the cycle will never end. Turn your enemies into willing allies instead of vanquishing them.
Can't just sit there and go "well if they'd just stop being dicks we wouldn't have to have that attitude!", as that's just shifting the work entirely off of yourself and onto someone else, just waiting for the problem to fix itself. And problems rarely fix themselves. You also can't just drive them away either, since, as things currently are, they will always find some place that supports or at least tolerates their views. Instead, you want there to be no places like that to begin with. And the only way to make those places vanish and never return is for people to never be able to come to the conclusion of "it is ok to discriminate against people" ever again.
I'm not saying that we should go around having tea parties with alt-righters and treat them as if they're our friends (and there's a few people who are probably beyond hope), it's just that one can both understand that something is objectively wrong+not tolerate it+want to fix it, and not be angry or openly hostile about it. Or, at least, I can do that anyway. One might think "But I'm justified in being angry at anti-LGBTQ people and the discrimination they've inflicted upon us for centuries!", but, I will ask again: what do those emotions physically do to remedy the problem? What does you being appalled
do?
The reason I'm more concerned about the responses to the comments rather than the homophobic ones (which, it's not like I condone those) themselves is, ignoring for a moment that I often don't need to directly comment on those comments myself given that there's usually plenty of people hanging around to do it for me, the attitudes some people seem to have when making these comments is the more dangerous thing to the pursuit of equality to me. It's when you get too caught up in your emotions and sense of justice that you're most susceptible to becoming the very thing that you're fighting against, albeit the other side of the coin, and are blind to it. I'm not saying that anyone here has gotten to that extreme yet, but the danger itself certainly exists.
Perhaps that's too cold and pragmatic for everyone, but, oh well.
I've mentioned this twice in this thread, but sure, I'll mention it a third time.
We're at a time (and really, have been for quite a while now) where gays, bisexuals, transgenders, nonbinary individuals, et al are discriminated against for who we are. We're beaten, killed, taken to "gay therapy" camps to "pray our gay away", isolated from our families, and left to suffer. The cause of this suffering? Individuals who are against the LGBTQ community for no other reason and see us as abnormal for no other reason other than the fact that we're attracted to different people. While I can't (and won't) really speak for others in the LGBTQ community, I wouldn't be surprised if this caused some inherent distrust in those who don't share pro-LGBTQ views, because again, it's rooted in that fear that we'll get judged and undergo intense suffering from those kinds of people in the first place.
Like I said before, I'm aware of what the reality of the world is. You (and everybody else) don't need to repeat it to me again.
I also think you misunderstand -- our purpose isn't to hate by any means -- but that doesn't mean we'll tolerate views that trivialize or invalidate what we've gone through. There's a very fine line.
Sure, some people don't hate. But can you really say that no one does? Especially when you admit that there's a very fine--and therefore easy--line to cross.