"I want to speak to the manager!"

[Fannie]

Where are my fellow retail bunnies? Let's share some stories! It's okay that I'm recylcing r/TalesFromRetail and Retail Robin, because we're bunnies.


I work at a clothing store. A few weeks ago, about 40 minutes before my shift was up, I noticed a rather lost looking lady. She asked me to accompany her around the store and give my opinion on which items she should purchase. It became clear that this particular customer wasn't quite altogether mentally. When I was trying to upsell her a couple of hats she commented that she missed her hair but had 'shaved it all off on accident' so a hat would be useful.

The shop got a bit busier and as I was serving she was going back and forth from the changing rooms - picking out more items. Once I'd finished serving I went to seek out my new friend to see if she needed assistance. She asked me to fetch a skirt she forgot to bring in. As I knocked on the changing room door she opened it completely naked waist down. I passed her the skirt and went to help a new colleague with a refund.

I began serving again eventually got to the customer I'd been helping. She was still wearing the skirt. After explaining to her that she'd have to remove it until it's paid for and detagged she took the skirt off right in front of me, my colleague and the line of customers. Again, no underwear was to be seen.

 

[Early]

Not my own firsthand tales, of course, but my brother's told me a few gems from working as a cashier at a dollar store:

He was nearing the end of his shift one day when an older woman walked into the store. Everything went fine, but when it came time for her to leave... she couldn't figure out how to exit the store. You pull the door to get in and push to get out like normal, but she apparently didn't know that and tried pulling to exit, then gave up when that didn't work and asked my brother to "unlock the door" for her. He never told me what happened after that, but he did say he and his coworkers had a good laugh about it.

Another time, a [different] woman came up to his register to check out. But she tried to hand him a huge stack of invalid coupons, despite, well... being at the dollar store.

 

[Fannie]

snip

Haha, getting blamed for their mistake is hilarious because you know no matter how vocal they are being, it wont get them what they want. I don't understand why some people thing being rude will get them special treatment.

 

[Esper]

I worked at a department store in the home goods section (towels and stuff) so, thank gawd, I never had to work the fitting room. One time someone left feces behind right before closing time.

 

[Her]

I worked at a department store in the home goods section (towels and stuff) so, thank gawd, I never had to work the fitting room. One time someone left feces behind right before closing time.

I really wish this wasn't such a common thing to happen, but the retail world doesn't have its reputation for nothing! The joy about being part of the oppressive management team meant I got to delegate someone else to clean up the poop & urine whenever it was discovered. Must have happened at least five or six times during my time there.

 

[Sydian]

I'm too tired to type up the story about PS4 lady (next time, I promise), but I work at GameStop. And I have lost count of how many times people come in to the store and, despite the fact I usually stand at the part of the counter closest to the door and I always say hello to whoever walks in, I have customers straight up walk right past me to the furthest register from the door despite no one standing there usually. Like. I don't know if it's cause I'm girly or what lol. But just...I guess I'm invisible??

I've also had people straight up tell me to get one of my male co-workers because they have a question on a game. They just go ahead and assume I can't answer it. Well...that's nice. lol

 

[Nolafus]

I had someone ask me to get my manager since I wouldn't give them a discount on a bent cookie. The cookie was otherwise fine, and my manager didn't give them a discount either.

I also had someone ask where the coffee stand was, as I was standing in the coffee stand. When I said that this was the coffee stand, they looked really confused and walked out of the store without another word.

Then there was the lady who wanted a hot frappuccino, which is basically a coffee milkshake if you're not well versed in coffee lingo, and couldn't understand why I couldn't do that.

I asked someone if they wanted a "lid", to which they declined the offer, but asked for a "top" instead.

I was serving this one guy, but he smelled like cheetos. When the smell was enveloping the entire stand, I figured out he was swirling a bunch of cheeto crumbs in his mouth and exhaling heavily.

I could go on, but this post is getting pretty long as it is, haha.

 

[Brendino]

I used to work at my store's customer service desk for about a year, and it's mind-boggling how clueless some people are when you're trying to explain something to them. If I tried writing down all the stories of interesting customers I've dealt with, I could probably have a novel from that one year alone.

The best customers though are the ones that try and buy cigarettes without any sort of ID. I've been called pretty much every name under the sun you can think of, and even had a customer tip over a shopping cart just because I thought they looked young, and they didn't have any proof on them. I mean, I'm sure a number of them were old enough, but I'm not going to risk getting fired when there are at least 3 other places they can buy them within a block or two of our store.

 

[El Héroe Oscuro]

I had a customer tip me weed one time when I used to work at Dunkin Donuts. It was literally the most random thing ever. I was working the closing shift and this raggedy old man came in asking for coffee. I gave it to him and he drops a bag in the tip jar saying "I'd take that before your manager sees" and then walks out. Had a pretty substantial amount of weed to say the least.

....one could also say I had a pretty nice night that night as well *cough cough* (;

 

[Fannie]

One time someone left feces behind right before closing time.

I'm so thankful I haven't had to deal with this yet. Most stores I've worked at there's no way to leave that behind without being noticed. The only thing I have to deal with is kids wetting themselves. Toilets are scary when you're little.

I'm too tired to type up the story about PS4 lady (next time, I promise).

Reminding you to tell this story :p
I've actually never met someone who worked at a game store but wasn't a gamer. It seems to be one of the few types of store where the staff are all into what they're selling. For all those customers know you're the best person to ask about the qame they're after.

I'm not going to risk getting fired when there are at least 3 other places they can buy them within a block or two of our store.

Their vice is more important than the law and your job, obviously xD A guy made a formal complaint against my friend because she ID'd him for cigs. Turns out he was a 15 years old French kid on a school trip so that was pointless.

 

[Keiran]

I'm a manager at Walmart and I have access to our customer complaints reports. Some of the stuff I get to read is truly absurd. A few days ago a lady wrote in a complaint because she believed a vacuum cleaner that she purchased was haunted and we wouldn't accept the return (because it was used). One guy tried to return a weed wacker he clearly used for years and he tried to be funny as his excuse was "4/20 is over!" Since he acknowledged that 4/20 is a holiday as per his beliefs we were able to deny his request due to our policy of not accepting holiday items as returns. He called corporate but they upheld our decision.

One time I was touring the store with the Regional Manager (which is basically where he/she visits and judges every aspect of your store - it's very stressful) and we were walking behind a customer, who was in nothing but a bathrobe, when suddenly a load of feces fell out from them. This was on Black Friday (when ALL the crazies come out). This is the last thing you want to happen with such a high ranking person in your store.

Finding used tampons happens every few months, but I think the most disgusting thing we've ever found was a used condom. Like, why?

My favorite crazy customer was this 60 something year old lady that came in about a year and a half ago. She was wearing a black trench coat and started hissing at people and screaming in a guttural kind of voice with things like "I AM THE ANGEL OF DEATH!" "HELLFIRE!!!"

 

[hhDude]

I don't work with the general public but I can share a story about an idiot I used to work with?

So I'm a preload supervisor at UPS. We put boxes onto the delivery trucks really early in the morning before the drivers leave (3-9am-ish, much earlier during Christmas).
So every now & then we have drug sniffing dogs come in cause people be mailing weed n drugs n shit like that does end up at my job sometimes. So this one day the cops know exactly what they're looking for which is weird cause they usually just grab a few here & there and have the dog do his thing. Not today. Now there are a few different conveyor belts in a UPS warehouse but the cops were on the one next to my own which I frequent normally. So they had told one of the loaders they were looking for this box on this truck blah blah etc. They knew where the box was gonna be and they told dude "hey dude let your supervisor know when you find the box".

Dude finds box.
Dude steals contents of box (heroin).
Dude gives me the now empty box.
I almost get arrested.
Dude makes it all the way to the security gate.
Dude leaves car keys in metal detector tray.
Dude gets tackled to the ground by 3 state cops.