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Is this charecter a Mary-Sue?

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Haz

Haz ya seen my hack?
698
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15
Years
    • Hi guys, hows it going? As some of you may be aware, I'm writing a Twilight fanfiction (You can read it here) which is my longest FF ever with 10 chapters and which features a OC of mine, Shayla. After taking a MS quiz , I'm worried that he's becoming one. So what better way to figure if she is one or not, then to turn to my friends (if you don't mind me calling you that) at the FF lounge and tell them about Shayla. And then you can tell me your opinions. I wrote an entire 'article' of it like it would appear on a Wiki :P. I have no life lol.

    Oh, bw, my FF is set in the Twilight universe around 2006-2009 or whenever Twilight was first written XD.

    In an attchment cause I'm lazy :P.

    Oh and please don't comment on the bad grammer since I only wrote it as a bit of fun and didn't plan to show it to the world XD
     
    Last edited:
    Astinus

    Astinus

    10,177
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    I'm scanning the bio a bit now (and reminding myself that I need to finish reading the Twilight series), but I can say that it's not the character herself that would define her as the Sue. It's the way that you write about her. If the world revolves around her, everything goes her way, all good characters like her and all bad characters don't like her, then she would be considered a Sue. Just looking at the bio, it could go either way. It's the story that she's in that would help determine that.

    So right now, I can't say how Shayla is as a character. When I read your story and see how she fits in with the rest of the characters and the setting of the Twilight world, then I'll be able to tell.

    I'd just like to apologize for the fact that you're writing a Twilight fic on a forum where people who like Twilight are scared off by insults. (Except for the moderator. I like the book series.)
     

    Haz

    Haz ya seen my hack?
    698
    Posts
    15
    Years
    • Ok then, thanks for reading. I'm trying not to make her a Sue but at the same time, it seems the harder I try, the worse she gets. :/ According to a Mary Sue quiz the one that Feigh posted in Skyblue's Mary Sue thread), she's on the way to becoming a Sue but isn't one yet.

    Oh and a tip, only read my fic if you have time. Some of the chapters are getting on to be 3000 to 4,000 words. XD
     
    Bay

    Bay

    6,388
    Posts
    17
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    • Haz said:
    Ok then, thanks for reading. I'm trying not to make her a Sue but at the same time, it seems the harder I try, the worse she gets. :/ According to a Mary Sue quiz the one that Feigh posted in Skyblue's Mary Sue thread), she's on the way to becoming a Sue but isn't one yet.

    Oh and a tip, only read my fic if you have time. Some of the chapters are getting on to be 3000 to 4,000 words. XD
    Click to expand...
    Those Mary Sue quizzes also don't determine if your character is a Sue or not. Instead they test on common personality traits. However, just because your character has some common Sue traits doesn't mean they are a Sue.

    Like Astinus said, it depends the world revolving the character or not. I actually gave more detail in SkyBlue's thread.

    Bah, what's with people worrying their character is a Sue and people trying to write bad guides about them x_x.
     

    Sgt Shock

    Goldsmith
    385
    Posts
    14
    Years
    • "Everything you do is Mary Sue." --a quote from Nokyo-chan.

    Meaning every character is going to have some degree of Mary-sueness to make them an interesting character. Not to say that you should make them as Mary Sue as possible--it means that you should reminded yourself that your character has to be exciting enough to read.
     

    Venn364

    The Pichu Master
    17
    Posts
    14
    Years
    • Could go either way, don't worry too much about the Sue tests too much as long as you keep your character and events balanced than everything should turn out fine XD
     
    Underoos

    Underoos

    1,788
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    • I'm not sure about her being full Mary Sue or anything, because you provide enough information to where it doesn't appear like she is. There are a few things that could lead someone to thinking she is though. Like her ability to communicate so well with animals, especially when she is a human. I mean sure, you can understand an animal's feelings and such, but some things seemed over the top. Also I'm thinking that her being a vampire and having the ability to turn into a cheetah is a little much.

    Her background seems perfectly fine though. Nothing screams Mary Sue there. The only thing that would make a person wonder would be the whole learning to read and write herself, but that's a perfectly fine thing because people do obviously do that and if she couldn't afford to go to school, then she...well, couldn't. So I'd say she's not really a Mary Sue at all =)
     

    SkyBlue

    I'm in love...with Ash!
    124
    Posts
    14
    Years
    • Well, she's not a full Mary-Sue. I like how she's written, and also her back-story. Just...well...ninja-like? I haven't seen any vampire be like a ninja (does Edward sneaking into Bella's room count?).

    BTW, off-topic, it seems as if you're basing the story on the movies. Try basing at least a bit of it on the books.
     

    Maxim

    Heavy Metal Alchemist
    650
    Posts
    19
    Years
    • Late for the party but as I writer I can say one thing.

    There is one thing worse than a Mary Sue - it's paranoid avoidance of Mary Sue. That leads to creation of even more terrible characters.

    Also, not every Mary Sue FanFic must be bad.
     

    SkyBlue

    I'm in love...with Ash!
    124
    Posts
    14
    Years
    • Maxim said:
    Late for the party but as I writer I can say one thing.

    There is one thing worse than a Mary Sue - it's paranoid avoidance of Mary Sue. That leads to creation of even more terrible characters.

    Also, not every Mary Sue FanFic must be bad.
    Click to expand...

    Like the parody fan fics? Or this one fic where the author inserted a Mary-Sue on purpose to torture her?
     

    XxAzaliaxX

    n00b hack trainer
    10
    Posts
    14
    Years
    • She doesn't seem to be a Sue. : D

    Just make her interesting, I'm writing a Twilight fic two, but it's a lot different then the 'usual' Twilight fic xD

    I don't like Twilight that much anymore, but good luck!
    ​
     
    Astinus

    Astinus

    10,177
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    • Seen yesterday
    No bumping threads over a month old. It's outlined in the rules.

    Thread's closed.
     
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