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[Life] Mental health club
- Thread starter Greninja use Water Shuriken!
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Tomorrow will be the date of anniversary for my dad's passing. I don't like the word, however it's not easy thinking of a more fitting term.
It's not fun being without a parent, especially on reminders like this. I find it even more harrowing as I've gotten older and became more aware of the circumstances surrounding his death. I hope that anybody who is struggling with mental health here can seek a healthy outlet or find solace through professional help. My dad could not find that comfort in his life.
Despite him being gone, his flowers he had taken care of bloomed a beautiful pink color.
Spoiler:
Goodbye Dad.
I'm sorry that you don't have your dad near you. /hugs you He is there though, he lives in you as his son, and in the hearts and minds of all the people he touched in his life. Sometimes, even when you can't remember things yourself, the memories that others have are a way to share some of the happy moments with you too.
I can't remember my grandad, because I was too young when he died, but family have told me so many good stories, that it does make him feel not so faraway sometimes, and the stories that are goofy honestly make me smile like tales featuring his dogs or his favorite part of a movie, and I feel that love and warmth, just looking at photos of him holding me as a baby, and seeing things that were his like his baseball or old clothes. The flowers that your dad grew coming into bloom right now can be a nice reminder of his presence and the beautiful parts. The hydrangeas truly are breathtaking, and it was touching to read your post.
I want to thank you for sharing something with personal, and also for sparing a thought for others, even though this is not an easy time for yourself, and encouraging anyone who might be struggling to seek mental health support.
I want you to know that I'm thinking of you, let me know if I can help, if this week gets tougher. Adding father themed-Cyndaquil art, all love and kindness your way friend.
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I'm sorry that you don't have your dad near you. /hugs you He is there though, he lives in you as his son, and in the hearts and minds of all the people he touched in his life. Sometimes, even when you can't remember things yourself, the memories that others have are a way to share some of the happy moments with you too.
I can't remember my grandad, because I was too young when he died, but family have told me so many good stories, that it does make him feel not so faraway sometimes, and the stories that are goofy honestly make me smile like tales featuring his dogs or his favorite part of a movie, and I feel that love and warmth, just looking at photos of him holding me as a baby, and seeing things that were his like his baseball or old clothes. The flowers that your dad grew coming into bloom right now can be a nice reminder of his presence and the beautiful parts. The hydrangeas truly are breathtaking, and it was touching to read your post.
I want to thank you for sharing something with personal, and also for sparing a thought for others, even though this is not an easy time for yourself, and encouraging anyone who might be struggling to seek mental health support.
I want you to know that I'm thinking of you, let me know if I can help, if this week gets tougher. Adding father themed-Cyndaquil art, all love and kindness your way friend.
I hate to reply with this, but we found our cat dead this morning. Life has decided to deliver a cruel cold slap in the face. I feel like there's only so much we can process at once and this is past my limit. I really don't feel okay.
Thank you for delivering such a kind message.
Edit: A day later, I'm okay now. This post was written an hour after discovering his body, emotions had been running high. The last thing we wanted on a day of grief was more death.
He has been buried. I hope our little family member rests easy. Hopefully there will be brighter days ahead. The only thing now is to try and look forward.
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Oh no, I am so sorry that you lost your cat. I am a passionate believer that life is better when it is shared with an animal, and am grateful for the pets that I have known, and empathize with what you are going through as a cat parent. I hope that even though the time did not last long enough, that you and your cat had some special adventures together that you can treasure always. I can tell by just how heartbroken you were writing, and stories you have told me before how much you loved your furry friend. It's okay to grieve here, anytime you want to talk about your friend please share. Give all your loved ones a hug, people, cats or dogs, and cherish the time you have with them. I think I speak for not just myself but many on the forum by saying that we love you, and are keeping you you family close right now in our thoughts and hearts as you heal from loss. You laid your cat to rest with love, and am glad to hear that you are looking forward to what good things the future could hold.
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For anyone who's reading this and is currently feeling down: rest assured that you're appreciated! Things might feel grim. You might feel like everything and everyone is against you. But don't worry: it'll get better. You can overcome this! We are here with you, supporting you with all our might, cheering you on all the way! :D
Venonat in Space
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Stupid question. Didn't know where to put this, but has anyone heard of age regression or "little space?" I've been finding stuff on the internet recently on it only to realize I've been doing it involuntarily. I can remember many instances where I just revert to a child-like state of speaking and acting expecting someone to be the grown up. I don't know if it's the autism talking or if it's really age regression so can anyone give any insight?
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I have a question for everyone.
Who inspires you? This might be a person you know in life, or it could be someone you don't, a famous person that you have never met, but something about them or their story has an effect on you. Maybe it's not a someone, but a something that motivates you.
I had been grappling more lately with depression and low self-esteem. Because my life is small, repetitive and can be dull i was losing a sense of purpose to it. Things i once dreamed of happening by this point when i was small are not the life i have currently. I yearn for more out of the world, but then i get paralyzed by a fear of making big changes and anxiety about interacting with people. I have said to myself that i am pathetic and a waste of space, and should just die, but i stopped thinking that and whay made me stop was remembering somebody here on this forum.
It t was Lucy, my mod partner who i love and respect, a friend. I have said to her before that i think her inner strength is amazing, and really mean that, and recently i drew some strength from thinking of her, and what she fights for, and then i want to keep going myself, and know i can and i put things in perspective by looking at her and the example she sets for so many. So i'd like to name her as an inspiration.
A thing that also helps me to feel empowered and not despair is writing. Writing gets me excited, since i have so many ideas to explore, they just come out of me, and pursuing them gives me something more to focus on, something positive that i can spend hours doing. I live through these characters i write, and after a lengthy typing session i feel more inner peace, having channeled some of that restlessness into my work, and it brings me hope because I still have this wish deep down to publish one day, and it's a reason for me not to give up.
What about others, what can motivate you?
Who inspires you? This might be a person you know in life, or it could be someone you don't, a famous person that you have never met, but something about them or their story has an effect on you. Maybe it's not a someone, but a something that motivates you.
I had been grappling more lately with depression and low self-esteem. Because my life is small, repetitive and can be dull i was losing a sense of purpose to it. Things i once dreamed of happening by this point when i was small are not the life i have currently. I yearn for more out of the world, but then i get paralyzed by a fear of making big changes and anxiety about interacting with people. I have said to myself that i am pathetic and a waste of space, and should just die, but i stopped thinking that and whay made me stop was remembering somebody here on this forum.
It t was Lucy, my mod partner who i love and respect, a friend. I have said to her before that i think her inner strength is amazing, and really mean that, and recently i drew some strength from thinking of her, and what she fights for, and then i want to keep going myself, and know i can and i put things in perspective by looking at her and the example she sets for so many. So i'd like to name her as an inspiration.
A thing that also helps me to feel empowered and not despair is writing. Writing gets me excited, since i have so many ideas to explore, they just come out of me, and pursuing them gives me something more to focus on, something positive that i can spend hours doing. I live through these characters i write, and after a lengthy typing session i feel more inner peace, having channeled some of that restlessness into my work, and it brings me hope because I still have this wish deep down to publish one day, and it's a reason for me not to give up.
What about others, what can motivate you?
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I honestly can't answer that. Actually, I even struggle with grasping the mere concept. Like, sure, I can respect people. There are a couple people on PC that I respect a lot (e.g. Nah, Sam, Starlight). But I never really had any sort of "looking up to" person throughout my entire life. And the mere thought just causes me a lot of bewilderment. <_<
In the end I have to rely on the only person who's always around me: myself. It's enough to stay alive. That doesn't sound like much. And in fact I barely can even enjoy anything in life. But given my very strongly nihilistic tendencies that's probably worth a lot more than it may seem. ^^"
There was a point where I wondered if it at least could be the other way around (others looking up to me). But that's a very problematic way of thinking. People don't want to look up to others who modeled themselves in such a way that people look up to them. It's that something about themselves is seen by others as a trait they can look up to.
In the end I have to rely on the only person who's always around me: myself. It's enough to stay alive. That doesn't sound like much. And in fact I barely can even enjoy anything in life. But given my very strongly nihilistic tendencies that's probably worth a lot more than it may seem. ^^"
There was a point where I wondered if it at least could be the other way around (others looking up to me). But that's a very problematic way of thinking. People don't want to look up to others who modeled themselves in such a way that people look up to them. It's that something about themselves is seen by others as a trait they can look up to.
CiCi
[font=Satisfy]Obsession: Watanuki Kimihiro and Izu
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Hey everyone. Been a long time. Was diagnosed with postpartum depression (PPD) last year and am autistic. I have severe chronic depression, generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), chronic nightmares, panic disorder, and premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD). I have some obsessive-compulsive disorder tendencies but not enough to warrant an ocd diag.
Put my rambling in spoilers if anyone wants to know the backstory:
Brain zaps. The dreaded mini-seizuresque symptom of antidepressant withdrawal. Which is what brings me here today. Has anyone else ever dealt with brain zaps? Has anyone ever successfully treated them? Does anyone here know how long they may last? I've read a month or three, sometimes years. God I hope not. Just looking for any and all possible info about it from people who've had them.
Put my rambling in spoilers if anyone wants to know the backstory:
Spoiler:
Brain zaps. The dreaded mini-seizuresque symptom of antidepressant withdrawal. Which is what brings me here today. Has anyone else ever dealt with brain zaps? Has anyone ever successfully treated them? Does anyone here know how long they may last? I've read a month or three, sometimes years. God I hope not. Just looking for any and all possible info about it from people who've had them.
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I am sorry to hear this, Megan and CiCi... I can't imagine how you feel.
But don't forget you have friends here, who are here for you if you need an ear and support, and who love you.
stringzzz
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I have manic-depressive Bi-Polar, but the last several years it's been in total control due to my medications. The real big problem I face now is that, well, I've always also had some problem with anxiety, but due to an event that happened a few years back where my life was under threat, the anxiety totally escalated into something much worse. Then COVID hit, and I didn't really go out much except to the grocery store, only strengthening the anxiety due to lack of social contact. I've been talking to a therapist every two weeks or so, and she is definitely a big help, but it is still an obstacle I'm overcoming.
Granted all that, I remain positive most of the time! :D
Granted all that, I remain positive most of the time! :D
Venonat in Space
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*sneaks in*
I've been struggling with my mental health a little and no one really helped yet so here I am.
Where do I start? Well i'll just type willy-nilly here and whatever types out types out I guess. *sigh* I've been giving a couple of opportunities for the summer, but it involves commitments. One of them is I have to study lessons 12 to 25 in my drum book to move up in my drum line to "elite" status if I pass a test. But I look at the book and I get sudden flashbacks to high school where I would cry over homework...literally. All I want to do these days is go on my laptop or play video games or sleep, and when I say sleep I mean engage in my fantasies if you know what I mean. The fantasies have become so consuming to the point of toxicity. So anyway, I got another opportunity to sign up for 8 music classes for Sundays in July and August. The deadline to sign up and pay is rapidly approaching, but I also got to save my money for a trip in August cause my stupid group-home wants to go to California. The truth is, I really don't want to go to California in August. My housemates despite being better than the past ones right now, I can't be bothered. But I don't know if I want to do the music classes either even though it's an opportunity. I'm starting to doubt my love for music at all. Also, I am trying to get off my psychotropic meds with the help of my psychiatrist. I got off one, but she doesn't want me to get off my other four until further notice I guess. I also had a few chronic nightmares, and am falling asleep so easily in day-hab. I just fall asleep and I don't know why. When I have coffee, the hyperness goes up too much. So it's either sleep or hyper. No in between. And I don't want to fall asleep at night cause of my vivid dreams and the disassociation that comes with it in the morning. I've also been diagnosed with pre-diabetes and am constantly going to the bathroom to pee despite losing 20 pounds since then. I'm also constantly hungry. I still feel fat because i'm still overweight. I need to walk more again but i'm so unmotivated about everything.
Oh **** I Just read over everything and edited a little. I know people have bigger problems than me, but I needed to vent. I'm sorry my friends/peers.
I've been struggling with my mental health a little and no one really helped yet so here I am.
Where do I start? Well i'll just type willy-nilly here and whatever types out types out I guess. *sigh* I've been giving a couple of opportunities for the summer, but it involves commitments. One of them is I have to study lessons 12 to 25 in my drum book to move up in my drum line to "elite" status if I pass a test. But I look at the book and I get sudden flashbacks to high school where I would cry over homework...literally. All I want to do these days is go on my laptop or play video games or sleep, and when I say sleep I mean engage in my fantasies if you know what I mean. The fantasies have become so consuming to the point of toxicity. So anyway, I got another opportunity to sign up for 8 music classes for Sundays in July and August. The deadline to sign up and pay is rapidly approaching, but I also got to save my money for a trip in August cause my stupid group-home wants to go to California. The truth is, I really don't want to go to California in August. My housemates despite being better than the past ones right now, I can't be bothered. But I don't know if I want to do the music classes either even though it's an opportunity. I'm starting to doubt my love for music at all. Also, I am trying to get off my psychotropic meds with the help of my psychiatrist. I got off one, but she doesn't want me to get off my other four until further notice I guess. I also had a few chronic nightmares, and am falling asleep so easily in day-hab. I just fall asleep and I don't know why. When I have coffee, the hyperness goes up too much. So it's either sleep or hyper. No in between. And I don't want to fall asleep at night cause of my vivid dreams and the disassociation that comes with it in the morning. I've also been diagnosed with pre-diabetes and am constantly going to the bathroom to pee despite losing 20 pounds since then. I'm also constantly hungry. I still feel fat because i'm still overweight. I need to walk more again but i'm so unmotivated about everything.
Oh **** I Just read over everything and edited a little. I know people have bigger problems than me, but I needed to vent. I'm sorry my friends/peers.
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I am sorry to hear this, Stringzzz. But I am happy to know you are getting better. We are with you!
It is alright to vent, Neon Pink. I wish you will find the help you need and feel, and get better, soon.
Venonat in Space
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UPDATE: Decided I really am still passionate about drums/music as I am. It's just people in rl I don't mesh with well. I forgot to say I have a mini-trip with my dad June 29th to July 2nd, so i'm hoping to get a little peace then. After that, I will sign up for the Sunday music classes. I think it starts on July 9th. As for lessons 12-25, i'm purposely going to wait until after July 2nd to slowly start on it. I think the test is after the summer. At least that's what I heard. Well anyway, I lost a few close friends today because i'm dumb and easily get into fights. Also decided to skip the August California trip because I really don't want to go. My toxic fantasies and the chronic nightmares stopped dead in their tracks though so more sleep will be a good thing. I plan to go to bed early tonight. I have a feeling things will be better. People in rl can just be weird...sometimes.
Thanks Fact Checking Gardevoir for your kind words and support. I see you around the forums a lot and you seem really nice.
Thanks Fact Checking Gardevoir for your kind words and support. I see you around the forums a lot and you seem really nice.
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I am happy to hear you are getting better. Don't be too hard on yourself, we all make mistakes here and there! I also hope things will get better with your friends.
stringzzz
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It's totally understandable to have anxiety with a situation like that, it is a brutal thing for anyone to go through.
I don't know if it will help, but I would suggest you find someone or something to hold on to to help you through that fight, to keep you going. My uncle went through treatments a few years back, but he got through it. His shining hope to fight on was his young daughter. If he didn't have her in his life, I couldn't say for certain, but he might not have made it through it. So again, if you have someone in your life, or even if you have more of a something, let them or it carry you forward. Best wishes to you, and never give up!
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Best wishes for your treatment to work, and for you to get, and feel, better soon, Sothis. We are with you!
stringzzz
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While I did mention my Bi-Polar disorder is really under control due to my medications, it is still definitely possible for me to experience some small moments of depression or manic, which is something that happened the other day for me. It's really not so bad, as the meds bring me back to being stable real quick.
But then there's my anxiety... A major part of what this stems from is due to some dark things in my past. It's something that I don't particularly want to discuss, but I realize if I'm ever going to be close with anyone I will eventually have to bring it up and discuss it. I will not be doing so today, but here's how it is in regards to my anxiety. The worst of it was when I had to stay at a homeless shelter for a short time a few years ago. One night, I overheard people talking about me, and I realized my life was under threat. I know that sounds paranoid, but I know what I heard that night. I could not go to sleep that night, I knew if I did so I would just be a sitting duck and someone would definitely target me then. I ended up hanging around outside that entire night in fear, never really sitting in the same spot for very long. Thankfully, first thing in the morning, I contacted a family member and got the hell out of there before something went down.
Now though, again, with the risk of sounding paranoid, everywhere I go I feel this target on my back. After having discussed every detail of my situation with a counselor about two years ago or so, we determined that it really wasn't so paranoid to think that. I try to convince myself that I have to die sometime anyway, so why live my life in fear of the inevitable when that's not really living life? Even still, the fear lingers. I'm not in a bad mood, or a downer mood, or anything like that, but I feel the need to vent about this whole thing.
I mentioned I had some dark things in my past, but the last 4 years or so I've worked hard to move forward and do right with my life. College has been awesome in this regard, allowing me to feel a justified sense of accomplishment. I recently got to join an honor society due to my good grades, and the certificate for that actually came in the mail at just the right time, the last day I was feeling kind of down on life. So, I feel there's hope, but even still... I still feel I carry that target on my back, and while I am moving forward from my past, it seems others may not stop bringing it back up.
If nothing else, it feels good to kind of get this off my chest to some degree. It's definitely 100x better to talk about your problems with people instead of bottling them up and isolating, as I know from personal experience that is a very poisonous situation to do so. I think I'll be alright, but the fear remains, just constantly lingering there. Maybe someday I can make friends with my fear, lol. :P
But then there's my anxiety... A major part of what this stems from is due to some dark things in my past. It's something that I don't particularly want to discuss, but I realize if I'm ever going to be close with anyone I will eventually have to bring it up and discuss it. I will not be doing so today, but here's how it is in regards to my anxiety. The worst of it was when I had to stay at a homeless shelter for a short time a few years ago. One night, I overheard people talking about me, and I realized my life was under threat. I know that sounds paranoid, but I know what I heard that night. I could not go to sleep that night, I knew if I did so I would just be a sitting duck and someone would definitely target me then. I ended up hanging around outside that entire night in fear, never really sitting in the same spot for very long. Thankfully, first thing in the morning, I contacted a family member and got the hell out of there before something went down.
Now though, again, with the risk of sounding paranoid, everywhere I go I feel this target on my back. After having discussed every detail of my situation with a counselor about two years ago or so, we determined that it really wasn't so paranoid to think that. I try to convince myself that I have to die sometime anyway, so why live my life in fear of the inevitable when that's not really living life? Even still, the fear lingers. I'm not in a bad mood, or a downer mood, or anything like that, but I feel the need to vent about this whole thing.
I mentioned I had some dark things in my past, but the last 4 years or so I've worked hard to move forward and do right with my life. College has been awesome in this regard, allowing me to feel a justified sense of accomplishment. I recently got to join an honor society due to my good grades, and the certificate for that actually came in the mail at just the right time, the last day I was feeling kind of down on life. So, I feel there's hope, but even still... I still feel I carry that target on my back, and while I am moving forward from my past, it seems others may not stop bringing it back up.
If nothing else, it feels good to kind of get this off my chest to some degree. It's definitely 100x better to talk about your problems with people instead of bottling them up and isolating, as I know from personal experience that is a very poisonous situation to do so. I think I'll be alright, but the fear remains, just constantly lingering there. Maybe someday I can make friends with my fear, lol. :P