Have you considered seeking professional help? Would you consider it?
I actually had the opportunity three times. Two times I got talked out of it and the last one, which was only the end of the last year, I ended up bailing out right before the end. Don't know why, exactly, I suppose "the stars didn't align properly" or something. They basically gave me the option to choose my psychologist which basically meant I couldn't put up the energy to look. And the one they suggested happened to be on vacation. So time passed, I got doubts and nothing happened afterwards.
Well, I did tell some other people about my thoughts and stuff. In that regard at least some people know about what I think.
What is something that's helped you through rough times?
Drawing, sleeping, playing games. Stuff like that.
I tried philosophy, but that didn't really help. Well, at least it allowed me to expose and subsequently get rid of some of my right wing reactionary bs idiot subscribtions on youtube. Their constant useless anger was very mood ruining. So philosophy is not totally a useful thing, I guess. ^^
I haven't posted in here in a while...I generally try not to infect other people with my presence, as there is more than sufficient reason to hate me as it is without me being around to hand people more ammunition. [...]
In a way it's funny: yes, I hated you. At least in the beginning I did. Then I got so annoyed that I had to talk to you...and realized that you're pretty ok. I suppose any attempt of getting a sort of friendship thing going mostly failed because we both may well be pretty awful at expressing ourselves and what not. Yeah, I'm failing here to give proper arguments.
Also you're a mod. If the higher ups on here where giving out positions to anyone they didn't like and trust I would own the place. :P
What I wanted to ask is: do you ever feel like everyone hates you? Like nothing you say or do will change that, and the more you try, the worse you'll make things? What do you do when you feel this way?
As much as I try to please anyone and everyone, I don't think in terms of people hating me. It's more like the majority ignores me. And they ignore me because I'm not one of the competitive, always improving, up to speed with the rest, career seeking turbo adults like everybody else seems to be. If everyone's busy and they all agree on being busy the same and bond over it, it's easy to end up forgotten.