[Discussion] (Pokemon) Xenoverse: Per Aspera Ad Astra rewrite feedback

[DiegoBenda]

I am working on a mod for Pokemon Xenoverse, a fangame that by fangame standards has a decent story, but I've analyzed it top to bottom in a review, alongside the rest of the game, and it does really show signs of a first project and lack of knowledge of where the story was going, not to mention the external issues that led to its postgame in particular to come out with a scattershot plot.

Well, with the permission from the devs, I want to make the story shine as much as I can, using most if not all the building blocks I was given, main and post game, cutting as little as possible to preserve as much of the original vision as possible, but fleshing it out a lot with details that some times are hidden, and other times are made up by me. Think of this as an unofficial second draft if you will.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1uTe3TWzKX4Jds4QUtQbEzmKArlJ2gEMOeLAQ5pfJ3ig/edit?usp=sharing

This is the outline and script I have written, still a work in progress, but still very hefty, the script going over the first half of the main game story and into the second one, right up where the original game's GEIST mission would be, now moved to the postgame and replaced with another one that ties directly into the plot more.

I'd like to ask people here for feedback, it would be massively appreciated.

 

[Napoli]

This is absolutely amazing. I found the original Pokémon Xenoverse super well made and on par (if not better than) with most modern Gamefreak games when it comes to plot. But your version is even better! It adds a whole new flavor of life to the characters! Please continue this, I am eager to read more of your dialogues and ideas! :3

 

[DiegoBenda]

Thank you so much! I will make sure to!

 

[Orion☆]

Hey, I know you from lurking around the Xenoverse Reddit! I too have a love-hate relationship with this game and its plot, and as such, I read some of your review and the ideas you had for it already. It was a really long read, but it was worth it.

Overall, your ideas for rehauling the plot of the game are great! I won't go into the criticisms just yet, because they basically amount to personal interpretation and nitpicks about characterization, and your draft isn't finished yet. If there is one large-scale remark I want to make though, it concerns the source of some of the game's plot points. I kind of wish you had retooled the plot of the game to be less in line with the Pokémon Adventures manga and more accurate to game canon. I understand why you didn't, though. I'm debating on making an AU retool of the game's plot myself, and so far all the ideas I've pooled for it amount to a polar opposite approach to yours; for one, I think the game's vision is flawed at a fundamental level because of its connections to the aforementioned manga, so I've brought it closer to game canon and cut out a lot of elements for economy in the process. Mind you, my AU is also supposed to be a dark comedy/farce take on the game and yours preserves the gravitas as intended, so again, take this remark with a grain of salt.

Great work so far! Oh, and if you don't mind, could you please also share the file with the ideas for new Pokémon that you had floating around? I'd like to go over it again, and maybe some people here would also be interested in seeing it.

 

[Ronin63957]

Can anyone help me
I want to play pokemon rocket edition on my nintendo ds lite how do i do it

 

[DiegoBenda]

Hey, I know you from lurking around the Xenoverse Reddit! I too have a love-hate relationship with this game and its plot, and as such, I read some of your review and the ideas you had for it already. It was a really long read, but it was worth it.

Overall, your ideas for rehauling the plot of the game are great! I won't go into the criticisms just yet, because they basically amount to personal interpretation and nitpicks about characterization, and your draft isn't finished yet. If there is one large-scale remark I want to make though, it concerns the source of some of the game's plot points. I kind of wish you had retooled the plot of the game to be less in line with the Pokémon Adventures manga and more accurate to game canon. I understand why you didn't, though. I'm debating on making an AU retool of the game's plot myself, and so far all the ideas I've pooled for it amount to a polar opposite approach to yours; for one, I think the game's vision is flawed at a fundamental level because of its connections to the aforementioned manga, so I've brought it closer to game canon and cut out a lot of elements for economy in the process. Mind you, my AU is also supposed to be a dark comedy/farce take on the game and yours preserves the gravitas as intended, so again, take this remark with a grain of salt.

Great work so far! Oh, and if you don't mind, could you please also share the file with the ideas for new Pokémon that you had floating around? I'd like to go over it again, and maybe some people here would also be interested in seeing it.

Well, about the Adventures Manga thing, I don't think I have really leaned into it more, since I barely know it to begin with, I mostly know some of the references, but even then the game is basically a hybrid continuity and I'm working with what I'm given. As for the characterization, feel free to share your thoughts too.
As for the full Document, I'll put it up in the original post. Thanks again for your feedback, massively appreciated!

 

[Orion☆]

Well, about the Adventures Manga thing, I don't think I have really leaned into it more, since I barely know it to begin with, I mostly know some of the references, but even then the game is basically a hybrid continuity and I'm working with what I'm given. As for the characterization, feel free to share your thoughts too.
As for the full Document, I'll put it up in the original post. Thanks again for your feedback, massively appreciated!

You're welcome, and thank you for agreeing to share the full doc!

I know you have tried to soften some of the references to the manga such as the one about Lt. Surge being in Team Rocket, but there's one more that affects the very premise of the game - Silver and Green marrying and siring the player character. I know they were childhood friends in the manga, but this reference could be extremely confusing for game canon-only buffs because the games' versions of Silver and Green never meet. (Hell... Green in the Let's Go games is way too obsessed with Mewtwo to be in a healthy relationship at all. Make of that what you will.) Same with Silver crediting his father for... well, pretty much anything; I doubt the game version of Silver would want to do anything with Giovanni even in adulthood. I don't want to share too much about my own retool, so let's just say I found quite a few (comedic, of course) ways around this point; I still haven't decided which one I'm gonna use, but again, it changes the game completely, unlike your vision in which you rework the elements that are already there.