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[RESULTS!] Small Writing Competition

Bay

  • 6,390
    Posts
    18
    Years
    bobandbill, doge's "Date Aides" is supposed to be 78, not 68. Noticed a typo there. :P

    Anyways, congrats to Aisu for first place and thanks everyone for participating! Another fun round of entries here!
     

    Elite Overlord LeSabre™

    On that 'Non stop road'
  • 9,957
    Posts
    16
    Years
    Hah, I had no idea how I'd place, considering it wasn't a story in the normal sense. Glad to see it did well, and I think this is my best showing in one of these since, I think it was 2010. Maybe I do better when I write stuff that's "out of the box." I especially liked being able to deconstruct the games and point out the flaws in how the enemy teams functioned.

    I can't help but think that section is an excellent opportunity to mention Petrel from the HG/SS games.
    I totally forgot about that guy, but I'll admit I haven't touched those games since 2012.

    I love in particular is the mention of ORAS's 1 vs 5 battle system. Such a shame it wasn't used that often and yeah could be benefited from being more challenging.
    That was kinda dumb in the games. Hey, we'll send out five Pokemon at once, oh wait, our Pokemon are 20 levels beneath everyone else in the hideout, and each of us only has one!

    you will want to take cues from groups like Team Plasma and Team Flare – as well as other cult leaders like Jim Jones and David Koresh.
    I'm afraid that joke flew over my head, as I don't know of these people. =(
    In a nutshell, Jim Jones was the guy who moved his cult from California to a commune in Guyana, South America (Jonestown) where he eventually forced almost all his followers to drink poisoned fruit drink in a mass suicide (he drank the poison as well). The phrase "Drinking the Kool-Aid" as it pertains to people blindly following a cult leader comes from the Jonestown Massacre, though technically it was an off-brand drink that was used.

    David Koresh led a cult in Texas, amassed lots of guns, and engaged federal agents in a lengthy standoff which ended in the cult's compound catching fire and many of his followers, and Koresh himself, to perish.

    (and also slip in a reference to a certain character, I notice)
    LOL you caught that reference, but missed another one to my own character, Lisa :P
    One female agent hired by the Pokemon League should be of great concern, as she has had extensive training in all of these skills and has taken down a number of organizations who indeed do use non-Pokemon methods of combat

    I'll try to get the story how-to guide posted this morning - if I don't, it'll be awhile since I'm slammed with two consecutive anime conventions.

    Congrats to everyone else!
     
  • 1,176
    Posts
    15
    Years
    • Seen Jul 18, 2016
    Just wanted to thank the judges for all the comments and helpful tips/corrections, I always like constructive criticism.

    I never imagined I would get second. Cheers!
     

    bobandbill

    one more time
  • 16,945
    Posts
    16
    Years
    LOL you caught that reference, but missed another one to my own character, Lisa :P
    Actually I noticed that one too. So my comments regarding that applies to her too. =p
    Just wanted to thank the judges for all the comments and helpful tips/corrections, I always like constructive criticism.

    I never imagined I would get second. Cheers!
    Cheers. It's fun to do, truth be told. :V Although timely at times, haha.
     

    Delirious Absol

    Call me Del
  • 356
    Posts
    9
    Years
    • UK
    • Seen Jan 27, 2019
    Thanks, Judges, for all the comments. I'm glad you enjoyed reading all the entries! This competition was a lot of fun. I love writing.

    I know I had a lot of characters in my short story. My comedy stories do end up becoming quite chaotic with the amount of characters they use. Others who read it who are familiar with the main story it's spun off from didn't have a problem with all the characters, so I think reading the entire story was beneficial as I've introduced them slowly in that which makes it easier to keep up with them all. Throwing them all together for a one-shot where newer readers won't be familiar with them or the recurring jokes probably wasn't the best idea, but I'm glad you found it entertaining regardless! I'll bare that in mind for future one-shot stories, and keep the character number down =D

    Thanks again! It was such a surprise to come 4th!
     
  • 1,863
    Posts
    12
    Years
    I see people mentioning things about their story so I want to mention something as well - just one thing though. bobandbill, the line "You, you know, off Legendaries because they've taken everything from us, right?" from my story actually did sound weird, now that I think about it. He didn't want to say 'kill', so he referred to it as 'offing', like if you off somebody.
     

    bobandbill

    one more time
  • 16,945
    Posts
    16
    Years
    I see people mentioning things about their story so I want to mention something as well - just one thing though. bobandbill, the line "You, you know, off Legendaries because they've taken everything from us, right?" from my story actually did sound weird, now that I think about it. He didn't want to say 'kill', so he referred to it as 'offing', like if you off somebody.
    Ah, okay. That does make more sense now, haha.
     
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