So I was having this conversation with some of my flatmates this morning at like 4am, because we're cool like that, and I thought I'd extend it out to you guys too. In relationships do you think that 'leagues' exist? Is a 1/10 really that unlikely to have a chance with a 10/10 or in the end does it all boil down to personality and interests? Do both looks and personality matter equally or does it sway in one direction? Discuss.
"She's out of my league"
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Khawill
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Well I think the league think has to do with the girl's ego. That is to say that if she is pretty, beautiful, or a 10/10 then people would tell her all the time (this doesn't apply to every girl). This would make her think higher of herself and raise her standards. The girl would only want to date the best looking, or the one with the best reputation.
It doesn't apply to every girl like I said, some girls don't care or don't let their egos get too high.
It doesn't apply to every girl like I said, some girls don't care or don't let their egos get too high.
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The "out of 10" scale is very good indication of how likely relationships occur.
If you are a 10 and a possible partner is a 10 there is a very good chance of the two hooking up. But if you are a 5 there is a significantly decreased chance of a partnership.
Of course if your interest is pretty AND intelligent there is more of a chance to show them how charming you are.
If you are a 10 and a possible partner is a 10 there is a very good chance of the two hooking up. But if you are a 5 there is a significantly decreased chance of a partnership.
Of course if your interest is pretty AND intelligent there is more of a chance to show them how charming you are.
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Why do you think it only apply to girls?
How can you say someone is a "10" in looks, or especially personally, when people have different views on beauty and so on?
No, I think that this thing only exists for people who accept it.
Z_Z
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No question it exists.
People have a relationship value, and most of the time people seek a similar value to themselves. People get defensive about it (as they no doubt will deny it here) but they shouldn't, because there is nothing wrong with it.
I've witnessed it myself. Going from dirt poor student to successful professional, girls attitudes towards me have changed dramatically.
People have a relationship value, and most of the time people seek a similar value to themselves. People get defensive about it (as they no doubt will deny it here) but they shouldn't, because there is nothing wrong with it.
I've witnessed it myself. Going from dirt poor student to successful professional, girls attitudes towards me have changed dramatically.
Honest
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It definitely exists. But "leagues" relate to social niches a lot, so I guess you can say that such "leagues" are the result of social groups. The influence a person's thinking.
Khawill
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I don't say that it doesn't affect guys, but the question was aimed at females. I don't think I've ever heard of "He's out of my league" anyways (though I'm a guy who doesn't gossip much)
Bounsweet
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It's a psychological, slightly sociological, influence.
Naturally, we gravitate towards partners who are more attractive than us. But we generally stay around the same "league" if you want to call it that.
So, going into percentages (just because I'm all into that) if you were a 60% male, you'd try aiming for a 65-70% female/male, but any higher than that would intimidate you, and you probably wouldn't give lower than 55% a second glance.
Harsh but legit.
It doesn't apply on just appearances too, but socioeconomic levels, amount of formal education, etc.
Naturally, we gravitate towards partners who are more attractive than us. But we generally stay around the same "league" if you want to call it that.
So, going into percentages (just because I'm all into that) if you were a 60% male, you'd try aiming for a 65-70% female/male, but any higher than that would intimidate you, and you probably wouldn't give lower than 55% a second glance.
Harsh but legit.
It doesn't apply on just appearances too, but socioeconomic levels, amount of formal education, etc.
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It's all subjective. Everyone rates themselves whether they like to admit it or not, if you see someone as a 10 and they see themselves as a 10 then they'll be less willing to settle for someone lower on the scale.
Why? Because they've been told by everyone around them that they can have anyone they want.
AzaleaLightning knows what's up.
Alex
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Its all based on how much self-confidence you lack. Any number can ask any number out on a date and try their luck. Most people rationalize themselves out of the embarrassment of rejection with the number system we're all so familiar with.
You don't got the balls, you don't get the number.
But that implies a whole double standard issue. Would you agree that guys are mostly the ones making the first move? Or do women make moves all the time I just don't happen to see them?
You don't got the balls, you don't get the number.
But that implies a whole double standard issue. Would you agree that guys are mostly the ones making the first move? Or do women make moves all the time I just don't happen to see them?
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This.
Also I very much dislike how men are supposed to make the first move. I like being chatted up ahaha.
I'm sure everyone here agrees that confidence is highly attractive in both men and women.
antemortem
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Disregarding the compatibility of two people and instead making their appearances the focal point is extremely shallow. I think how two people 'click,' perse, should be the deciding factor in either a successful or unsuccessful relationship. The male and female should be given time to learn about each other's personality - likes, dislikes, opinions, etc - before judging whether or not the relationship will work out.
Appearances are not everything, folks. Judging systems are also unfair and can be completely bias depending on the person you're talking to.
Appearances are not everything, folks. Judging systems are also unfair and can be completely bias depending on the person you're talking to.
Oryx
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A girl's moves are more subtle than a guy's moves, so it's probably the latter.
I agree that self-confidence affects the scale though. An 8 might end up with a 3 if the 8 feels that they're actually a 4-5. But if your ego is large, there's a double whammy of people not liking you as much because huge ego and you going for people 'above' you in the scale, who reject you.
Kura
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Spoiler:
TL;DR version:
Depends on what you are looking for. If you want a relationship based on looks, then you value what is in your league depending on your own ego versus what you find attractive around you. If you care about being treated properly, it is the same sort of thing. If you value a bunch of stuff in a partner, you can determine who you feel you are "worthy" of based on what you feel someone can offer you versus what you can offer back. That is what being in someone's league or not essentially is.
TB Pro
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Oh for sure leagues exist. I've always considered myself lower on that scale, and I managed to get a girlfriend who's a 10 all the way imo. Looks do matter for sure, but what really matters is chemistry. I'm proof that you can get somebody "out of your league". ha.
I know a girl that literally looks at a guy and if he doesn't match what she wants she won't even look that the personality at all and now she ended up with a guy that treats her terribly all because she went with looks. So for me I never really base things on leagues and so on. there are things i look for but it is always how well we get on, can I joke and be myself with her and so on, that's what I have found but still trying to work everything out.
Leagues is more of an ego thing. Oh they aren't good enough because of this and that really annoys me. Especially when it comes to looks as people can always change how they look and so on. But can't change a personality.
Leagues is more of an ego thing. Oh they aren't good enough because of this and that really annoys me. Especially when it comes to looks as people can always change how they look and so on. But can't change a personality.
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Utter rubbish.
Your definition of a '10' can be someone's '5'.
The 'league' system is a very loose concept of judging attraction and isn't an indication of how likely two people will hook up.
All it takes is two people to click and they can be together, regardless of if they are a 1 or a 10. Yes, there has to a physical attraction in the relationship, or it won't work, imo, but that is down to the individuals, not some up in the air rating system.
Your definition of a '10' can be someone's '5'.
The 'league' system is a very loose concept of judging attraction and isn't an indication of how likely two people will hook up.
All it takes is two people to click and they can be together, regardless of if they are a 1 or a 10. Yes, there has to a physical attraction in the relationship, or it won't work, imo, but that is down to the individuals, not some up in the air rating system.
Personally I don't believe a 10 exists (the closest being Mila Kunis, omg), because there will always be a better looking girl or guy. As for being out of someone's league, of course it exists. For a relationship to work there has to be some level of physical attraction, even if it's only the tiniest bit. At the end of the day it comes down to one's own personal opinion of the person rather than society's concept of the 'league.'
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Anyone who says looks don't matter to them is lying. There is no convincing me otherwise.
It depends on that person to what they are looking for for physical attraction. Proof of that is in our everyday lives already. I'm sure there are people you find ugly, and those same people are viewed to be incredibly hot to someone with different taste in physical attraction than you. Just matters on your type.
I don't really believe in the "out of my league" thing but at the same time I do, especially when we're looking for dates or people to fool around and have casual sex / one night stand with. I believe the league is created in your own head, and judging by people you find attractive or not are included in that league. Like Will said, there's always going to be someone who looks better than the person you're looking at. The league thing is a combination of how the person carries themselves and how they look and how someone feels about themselves. But I also believe it relates to you directly; more-so than other people.
You could have two people of the same social standing (one with a lot more confidence despite the fact they're both considered losers by the people in their school and one with not so much), and the one with more confidence is likely not to feel like someone is out of their league when they spot someone they both find to be attractive. I think everyone rates themselves on what they find to be attractive as well as other people who they find to be attractive.
If you rate yourself a 3 and you see someone who you rate as a 10, then yeah, that person's gonna be out of your league. Not necessarily even because of looks, but because your self confidence in yourself is **** and they'll probably sense it and lose any interest, if any, that they had in you. So people who feel like this are generally the people who I think are doing it to themselves, even though I'm sure they don't choose to have low self-esteem in that regard.
It depends on that person to what they are looking for for physical attraction. Proof of that is in our everyday lives already. I'm sure there are people you find ugly, and those same people are viewed to be incredibly hot to someone with different taste in physical attraction than you. Just matters on your type.
I don't really believe in the "out of my league" thing but at the same time I do, especially when we're looking for dates or people to fool around and have casual sex / one night stand with. I believe the league is created in your own head, and judging by people you find attractive or not are included in that league. Like Will said, there's always going to be someone who looks better than the person you're looking at. The league thing is a combination of how the person carries themselves and how they look and how someone feels about themselves. But I also believe it relates to you directly; more-so than other people.
You could have two people of the same social standing (one with a lot more confidence despite the fact they're both considered losers by the people in their school and one with not so much), and the one with more confidence is likely not to feel like someone is out of their league when they spot someone they both find to be attractive. I think everyone rates themselves on what they find to be attractive as well as other people who they find to be attractive.
If you rate yourself a 3 and you see someone who you rate as a 10, then yeah, that person's gonna be out of your league. Not necessarily even because of looks, but because your self confidence in yourself is **** and they'll probably sense it and lose any interest, if any, that they had in you. So people who feel like this are generally the people who I think are doing it to themselves, even though I'm sure they don't choose to have low self-esteem in that regard.