The Post Your Problems Thread 2.0

[MushroomZOMBIE]

Okay, so I will make this as short as I can.

I've been having problems with my anger and sadness for over a year. It's gotten so bad that my boyfriend and I had to take a break as of yesterday [I was always angry at him and said pretty nasty things that I did not mean all the time. He doesn't even know why he stayed with me for a year and 8 months]. Everything sets me off. For example, when someone online says something I do not like, I start getting angry and just have the urge to make the person feel bad over what he/she said. And sadly, it's a wide range of things I'm prone to get upset about. Even the mention of a subject I do not like gets me going... It's something I feel I have no control over.

With the sadness part, I feel like I'm technically a waste of space because I have no talent or any positive traits. I'm also clumsy to the point that I cannot try something new because of my fear that my parents or whoever says "UR DOIN' IT WRONG" in some mean way or even scream at me. On top of that, I stutter when I speak irl, so I'm afraid to speak to people who rub me the wrong way, or even my family. I feel overshadowed by possibly every living human being in this world.

 

[PZLMKBB]

*sighs* sorry to not help out with the issue above but currently I need advice on what to do.....

OK well still Im trying to do my study's with the advice and still getting screwed over and now Ive relizsed also I have no friends at school, which just adds to the hell my school life allready is,my girlfriend is allways supper busy and she is the only one stopping me from going back to the old sucidle me. So what am I destned to be the "retard" my whole life just cuase I have a mild form of Autsim what should I do just give up trying to be nice to those who are using me and go back into the specail ed room or just take the trash there giving me! And my girlfriend says she wants to be with me and her friends and Id like that but the issue is its a long distance realtionship.... not to long ditance she is in another state but still the fact remains they dont apperntly understand my case so what should I do let her do this at my expense again or just once tell her to be on MSN without any one just one time.

 

[Spinor]

Suicidal people are stupid, selfish, and disgusting to society as a whole community of outcasts and as themselves individuals. They are never thought of anything higher than ****.

So what, you have autism, can't make friends. Don't make friends. Focus on your damn school work. Autism can't affect school. If you feel lone enough, then make internet friends to talk to. This forum is a perfect opportunity. Having trouble with your girlfriend? Just deal with it. Either time will dissipate it, or your feelings will dissipate.

If you feel like you are a social outcast. You're not one. Once you start grabbing that knife and rope, feel free to. You'll never go back.

 

[Abnegation]

Before you read, beware of somewhat morbid themes based on the subject, this is a somewhat srs bsns post.

Suicidal people are stupid, selfish, and disgusting to society as a whole community of outcasts and as themselves individuals. They are never thought of anything higher than ****.

So what, you have autism, can't make friends. Don't make friends. Focus on your damn school work. Autism can't affect school. If you feel lone enough, then make internet friends to talk to. This forum is a perfect opportunity. Having trouble with your girlfriend? Just deal with it. Either time will dissipate it, or your feelings will dissipate.

If you feel like you are a social outcast. You're not one. Once you start grabbing that knife and rope, feel free to. You'll never go back.

Eh, I'm just going to jump in here because I feel some of the comments said above and by others are very bias and not taking into account the fact that they have not walked in another persons shoes, thus not having the right of able to judge someone with clarity in its entirety.

Suicidal people are stupid, selfish, and disgusting to society as a whole community of outcasts and as themselves individuals. They are never thought of anything higher than ****.

I'll agree to take ones life is very selfish and just as selfish to take another's. In saying that I wouldn't say someone who is suicidal person is stupid, they could be quite intelligent yet just another person without guidance. To take your own life is an idiotic act as there will always be a better alternative, we do not know what lies beyond life so living is all we know so we can only imagine that the afterlife will be better (supposing there is one). To take your life is a gamble and not a better alternative and this is a gamble not worth risking. To have the desire to take your life is not your decision but more so your mentality or your feelings. The people who are depressed or are in that frame of mind are not bad people but are just in the need of serious and immediate help, everyone can turn their life around. If you think that people who are suicidal are selfish, by that you would mean there are plenty of people they're leaving behind that love them and that will feel the repercussions of the person's passing away, yet you follow on to say that they are seen badly in society. Which is wrong in many ways. I would add on and say that society aren't going to know, how would they? Unless the person goes out in public and says that they are feeling such a way society wont have any idea. Even if it goes the whole way and the person does take their own life then society would see it as a misfortune and a tragedy, not something to be hissed at.

After saying this, I will reiterate that taking your life is the worst possible scenario and it is an extreme path to take and should not be taken by anyone regardless of what they're going through. Though I do agree that it is something very serious AK9, it is something also very sensitive and best not looked at with aggressive eyes.

So what, you have autism, can't make friends. Don't make friends. Focus on your damn school work. Autism can't affect school. If you feel lone enough, then make internet friends to talk to. This forum is a perfect opportunity. Having trouble with your girlfriend? Just deal with it. Either time will dissipate it, or your feelings will dissipate.

Agreed, to an extent. I'm a sole believer of being able to make life the way you want it to be within reason, because I have done this and I'm just another average Joe. A year ago I was borderline suicidal with more problems than I care to count. One day I hit rock bottom and I seen where I was going, I got help, though that wasn't what helped me in the long run. I took that assist under my belt and I went out on my own and sorted my life out. I went from being the outcast, the depressed kid, the loner and whatever negative social stereotypes you can throw at someone, to what I am now, which is the happiest person I feel you could ever meet. I regained all my friends back and more, my family look up to me in ways, I'm able to support myself and those around me, if anything bad happens I can take it on my stride and deal without without frowning, I have someone to love and care for, I'm improving in school and my talents are ever growing. You want to know why? I simply chose to be happy, despite many many hardships that had happened in the past I just decided I wanted to be happy and I just went out there and I did it because in this world, what else do we all want other than to be happy? Don't worry about what you think will make you happy, just do the things that do make you happy.

If I can just add something that I wrote once upon a time:
__________________________

"You know, everyone has their story. Everyone has something locked deep down inside or not depending on how open they are with their emotions. But we've all gone through hard times or some things that have effected us in seemingly negative ways along the path of our lives. Some people choose -for lack of a better word- to wallow in what has happened and it burdens them for the rest of their days, or at least, a completely unnecessary amount of time. Some scars never heal.

Now that we've got a little bitter truth under our belts, time for the progression, the next ingredient if you will. People tend to say to me when I'm down or going through tough times, "Life is hard.", a bold but true statement to make I'll admit, now I reply "Compared to what?". It dawned on me that you can't compare life to anything because you haven't experienced anything other than life itself. So my point here is, don't. Don't look for something to compare your life to, just live it. People wish their lives away wanting to be someone or something else, before they know it, they're 6 feet under wishing that they could have that life back.

Things are hard to get over right away, I'm not saying they're going to disappear as soon as you want them to. You can't rely solely on other things to make you happy. A lot of your own happiness is made up by you, by your mentality. If you choose to be happy and you want to be happy you will be. Otherwise you can choose to be sad and you will be. If you think negatively, the others around you will fell that aura. Human emotion is very powerful. You may think I'm making it sound easy, when it isn't, but I'm speaking from experience. A year ago I was close to falling off the edge in more than one sense of the metaphor. Now, I'm one of the happiest, most cheerful people you'll meet. It takes a lot to put me down for the count or for me to dislike someone or something whereas it would have been easy a year ago.

I might sound like a total clichée, but everyone is strong enough and able enough to be happy. No matter how hard your life is, there's always a possibility for happiness if you can believe that it's there for you, if you can suck it up and reach for it, if you're willing to put yourself out there. Anything is worth being happy, because when it comes right down to it, that's what we live for. To be happy."
__________________________

If you feel like you are a social outcast. You're not one. Once you start grabbing that knife and rope, feel free to. You'll never go back.

The only person who makes you feel like a social outcast, is yourself, there's so many people out there willing to be your friend if you just put yourself out there and not worry about aesthetics and being popular and whatever else teens worry about these days. And yes I'm aware I'm another teenager but I like to believe I have a different mentality than your stereotypical high-school teen. At any rate, if you choose to be sad, there's nothing stopping you, yet if you choose to be happy there's a lot more in your favour helping you get there if you just let it. Never feel like there's no alternative to grabbing the knife because as AK9 says, there's no going back.

Life is worth living if you perceive it that way and taking your own life might be the first thing you'll consider but you should sooner let the sky fall than to let a noose hang.

 

[Sewzie]

*sighs* sorry to not help out with the issue above but currently I need advice on what to do.....

OK well still Im trying to do my study's with the advice and still getting screwed over and now Ive relizsed also I have no friends at school, which just adds to the hell my school life allready is,my girlfriend is allways supper busy and she is the only one stopping me from going back to the old sucidle me. So what am I destned to be the "retard" my whole life just cuase I have a mild form of Autsim what should I do just give up trying to be nice to those who are using me and go back into the specail ed room or just take the trash there giving me! And my girlfriend says she wants to be with me and her friends and Id like that but the issue is its a long distance realtionship.... not to long ditance she is in another state but still the fact remains they dont apperntly understand my case so what should I do let her do this at my expense again or just once tell her to be on MSN without any one just one time.

Well, this is a toughie.
You've already asked her to go to you once? If she's still cool with doing it, then why not? IMHO, nothing beats a face-to-face interaction, but that's just me.

Also, I say shun those people who are only nice to you because they use you. You need a more deserving crowd. I admit, it's hard to find a crowd that is accepting of who you are and are not, but there are people like that. Believe me.

Actually, it's nice to have a lot of time to focus on your studies, but what's life without friends? I mean, we are all generally social beings who crave the sense of belonging. If you can't find one IRL, you can try making friends here. :)

 

[MushroomZOMBIE]

Suicidal people are stupid, selfish, and disgusting to society as a whole community of outcasts and as themselves individuals. They are never thought of anything higher than ****.

So what, you have autism, can't make friends. Don't make friends. Focus on your damn school work. Autism can't affect school. If you feel lone enough, then make internet friends to talk to. This forum is a perfect opportunity. Having trouble with your girlfriend? Just deal with it. Either time will dissipate it, or your feelings will dissipate.

If you feel like you are a social outcast. You're not one. Once you start grabbing that knife and rope, feel free to. You'll never go back.

Excuse me, but that was quite a rude way to give advice. You have no idea what people with autism go through. They're very sensitive individuals. So I suggest you refrain from making such strong remarks. Either that or not come back here and give others advice.

And how do I know what this person went through? I went through the same thing myself, and have a mild form of ASD as well. I'm sure if you told that to me, I'd be honored to put you in your place as I'm doing now.

TL;DR: You're being selfish and unreasonable. Oh, where did I hear THAT before...? :cer_shifty:

 

[Gardenia101]

Okay, sorry, I can't answer your problem becasue I have one of my own.
You see, I really like this boy.
But I'm one of the "Nerds" and I don't think he likes me.
What do I do?

 

[Livewire]

Okay, sorry, I can't answer your problem becasue I have one of my own.
You see, I really like this boy.
But I'm one of the "Nerds" and I don't think he likes me.
What do I do?

Eventually you'll have to muster up the courage and tell him how you feel. ^__^

 

[Spinor]

Okay, sorry, I can't answer your problem becasue I have one of my own.
You see, I really like this boy.
But I'm one of the "Nerds" and I don't think he likes me.
What do I do?

Make friends with him first. There's such thing as guys into girl nerds >__> My girlfriend is one.

And I'm the rare kind of guys where our mentality is Glasses == 1,000,000% hotter

 

[I Laugh at your Misfortune!]

Guys like girl nerds (b")b

It makes them feel better about gaming instead of spending time with you.

 

[Kura]

Dood, be proud you're a nerd. Nerds go far in life. If that guy is gonna let a freaking stereotype bother him then he's immature and not worth it anyways. :/ What the heck kind of jerk bases a person solely on a generalization?

 

[0m3GA ARS3NAL]

Dood, be proud you're a nerd. Nerds go far in life. If that guy is gonna let a freaking stereotype bother him then he's immature and not worth it anyways. :/ What the heck kind of jerk bases a person solely on a generalization?

She didn't say that... 'Splode much?

In my opinion, you've just gotta tell him how ya feel, get to know him first, make friends, ask him if he wants to hang out, work up.

 

[Synaesthesia]

Yeah, you just have to ease into it. Because you can always tell when a guy likes a girl, they suck at hiding their feelings lol. If you guys start talking more and spending more time together then you'll find out if he does like you, and your nerdness really won't matter whatsoever. If he doesn't, then I can agree with Kura in the sense that he's not worth your time and you shouldn't like him either. But if he does ending up not liking you, please don't assume immediately that it's because you're a nerd. Seriously, be proud of who you are. High school generalizations and stereotypes are a part of everyone's life. It's what you make of it that matters.

 

[0m3GA ARS3NAL]

Yeah, you just have to ease into it. Because you can always tell when a guy likes a girl, they suck at hiding their feelings lol. If you guys start talking more and spending more time together then you'll find out if he does like you, and your nerdness really won't matter whatsoever. If he doesn't, then I can agree with Kura in the sense that he's not worth your time and you shouldn't like him either. But if he does ending up not liking you, please don't assume immediately that it's because you're a nerd. Seriously, be proud of who you are. High school generalizations and stereotypes are a part of everyone's life. It's what you make of it that matters.

I don't do that...

I never hide my feelings, I'm always one to let it out.

 

[Charizard★]

Problem;

I always looked up to my second cousin. We always used to hang out, but when he went to college 2 years ago everything started to change bit by bit. I mean, after he came back he would have a sad expression on his face. He went to a top ten college, is very smart and such. He always told me never to join gangs or do drugs. But yesterday I found out he got kicked out of the college for gang activity and drugs. I tried talking to him but he was crying and saying he didn't want me to talk to someone who is a bad influence. The thing was his so called "friends" pressured him into doing it. They also found out about his cousins who went to India for a month, so they went and broke into their house a month ago while they were away. The thing is I still think he is a good person, but my family shuns him now. His parents disowned him and don't think of him as their kid anymore. His little brother told him he was a failure and all he does now is sit in his room crying. I feel really bad for him and I want to do something to cheer him up, or tell him everything is going to be all right, but so far he doesn't listen, all he says he is a failure and such. Any help please?

 

[Kirozane]

I have a problem of my own....

There's someone I have known since Seventh Grade. I used to be really close to her, but as the years progressed... (It's been almost six years) I started to feel a rift between us. A rift she is obviously oblivious to. Especially now. In our senior year in high school, she dropped out, and ran away to a city over 100 miles away just to chase some guy she barely knew. Our contact cut off after that, but I was okay with it as the fact that she did that frustrated me and basically made the void uncrossable in my eyes. Honestly after I heard both ends, once learning about what else compelled her to leave, I wanted nothing more to do with her.

She ends up trying to get back in touch while I was on my way to a funeral, telling me she might be pregnant and that she needed my help. I didn't know what emotions to follow. My anger flared higher, after all, I hadn't heard from her in 6 months, and THIS is how she tries to get back in-touch?

She now only texts me if something negative is going on with her, expecting me to help her fix it. This is where my problem stems. I don't want to respond, but my mother forces me to. Usually through Threats, guilt and blackmail. My guilty conscience makes me too much of a pushover, and I never really was one to follow my own gut a lot of the time.

I don't know what to do. I feel like she's only using me nowadays, as I never hear anything positive from her anymore... yet other people hear her bragging to them about whatever it is she finds a reason to brag about. I know the logical solution would be to tell her I don't want to talk to her anymore, but again, I'm always "compelled" to respond and at least put on a happy and kind facade when there is really no warmth in me towards her. I'm being too nice, I know it... But I can't help it.

What should I do/say?
(I know. A really trivial issue but I need to get it out...)

 

[MushroomZOMBIE]

I have a problem of my own....

There's someone I have known since Seventh Grade. I used to be really close to her, but as the years progressed... (It's been almost six years) I started to feel a rift between us. A rift she is obviously oblivious to. Especially now. In our senior year in high school, she dropped out, and ran away to a city over 100 miles away just to chase some guy she barely knew. Our contact cut off after that, but I was okay with it as the fact that she did that frustrated me and basically made the void uncrossable in my eyes. Honestly after I heard both ends, once learning about what else compelled her to leave, I wanted nothing more to do with her.

She ends up trying to get back in touch while I was on my way to a funeral, telling me she might be pregnant and that she needed my help. I didn't know what emotions to follow. My anger flared higher, after all, I hadn't heard from her in 6 months, and THIS is how she tries to get back in-touch?

She now only texts me if something negative is going on with her, expecting me to help her fix it. This is where my problem stems. I don't want to respond, but my mother forces me to. Usually through Threats, guilt and blackmail. My guilty conscience makes me too much of a pushover, and I never really was one to follow my own gut a lot of the time.

I don't know what to do. I feel like she's only using me nowadays, as I never hear anything positive from her anymore... yet other people hear her bragging to them about whatever it is she finds a reason to brag about. I know the logical solution would be to tell her I don't want to talk to her anymore, but again, I'm always "compelled" to respond and at least put on a happy and kind facade when there is really no warmth in me towards her. I'm being too nice, I know it... But I can't help it.

What should I do/say?
(I know. A really trivial issue but I need to get it out...)

[Insert rant about the carelessness of teenagers]

Ok, as much as it hurts, you must cut off ties with her completely. She ran away and abandoned you for some guy who just wanted a good boning. Now she's pregnant. She has to deal with that on her own, since she made that mistake. No using facades. Just be honest with her even though it will hurt you. Narcissism a friend not make.

Your mom... I don't know what to say. It's harder to do something about parents than to do with... ex-friends. All I can say if you're gifted with words, you could snap her out of it and make her see the world as is; your friend made a horrible and possibly unforgivable mistake.

 

[Ayselipera]

I have a problem of my own....

There's someone I have known since Seventh Grade. I used to be really close to her, but as the years progressed... (It's been almost six years) I started to feel a rift between us. A rift she is obviously oblivious to. Especially now. In our senior year in high school, she dropped out, and ran away to a city over 100 miles away just to chase some guy she barely knew. Our contact cut off after that, but I was okay with it as the fact that she did that frustrated me and basically made the void uncrossable in my eyes. Honestly after I heard both ends, once learning about what else compelled her to leave, I wanted nothing more to do with her.

She ends up trying to get back in touch while I was on my way to a funeral, telling me she might be pregnant and that she needed my help. I didn't know what emotions to follow. My anger flared higher, after all, I hadn't heard from her in 6 months, and THIS is how she tries to get back in-touch?

She now only texts me if something negative is going on with her, expecting me to help her fix it. This is where my problem stems. I don't want to respond, but my mother forces me to. Usually through Threats, guilt and blackmail. My guilty conscience makes me too much of a pushover, and I never really was one to follow my own gut a lot of the time.

I don't know what to do. I feel like she's only using me nowadays, as I never hear anything positive from her anymore... yet other people hear her bragging to them about whatever it is she finds a reason to brag about. I know the logical solution would be to tell her I don't want to talk to her anymore, but again, I'm always "compelled" to respond and at least put on a happy and kind facade when there is really no warmth in me towards her. I'm being too nice, I know it... But I can't help it.

What should I do/say?
(I know. A really trivial issue but I need to get it out...)

Well I feel like maybe she might be a little lost and is calling out for help. It's not that she only wants to tell you negative things, I think it's that whatever you tell her when she's down somehow helps her. Also I think her bragging to other people might be a way to make herself feel better. If she's really sad like you said then bragging probably helps out a lot. I see it as a healing/defense mechanism to not only build up her confidence, but to also let other people know that she is just fine.

The fact that she is opening up to you might be a sign that she is comforted by you or that she feels safe telling you her troubles. I really think you should stick with her and really try to help her out. I know texts don't seem like much, but sometimes that's all the person on the other side needs. In the end I feel as though she really does appreciate you and still sees you as a good friend seeing as she texted you of all people when she was in trouble.

At least this was my interpretation.

 

[Sewzie]

Problem;

I always looked up to my second cousin. We always used to hang out, but when he went to college 2 years ago everything started to change bit by bit. I mean, after he came back he would have a sad expression on his face. He went to a top ten college, is very smart and such. He always told me never to join gangs or do drugs. But yesterday I found out he got kicked out of the college for gang activity and drugs. I tried talking to him but he was crying and saying he didn't want me to talk to someone who is a bad influence. The thing was his so called "friends" pressured him into doing it. They also found out about his cousins who went to India for a month, so they went and broke into their house a month ago while they were away. The thing is I still think he is a good person, but my family shuns him now. His parents disowned him and don't think of him as their kid anymore. His little brother told him he was a failure and all he does now is sit in his room crying. I feel really bad for him and I want to do something to cheer him up, or tell him everything is going to be all right, but so far he doesn't listen, all he says he is a failure and such. Any help please?

I think the best thing to do is to just be there for him. At this point, he probably just needs a shoulder to cry on. Don't give him advice or any form of encouragements yet; try to listen to what he has to say first.
The pressure (of being an over-achiever, etc.) probably started to build on him, and his way of an outlet was to cave in to his peers and be a "bad" boy. So, IMO, I think a smart move, on your part, would be to just listen to his side of the story and make him feel understood. :)

 

[JackGamer]

Hewwo.
So.. basically I care ffaaarrr too much about what people think of me.
Lately, not quite as much.. but still... it bugs me.
I'm 16 and I started 6th form today. I do not look sixteen. at all. It bothers me. I know it shouldn't, and I'd love not to care, but occasionally it bothers me.
Like, sixth formers don't have to wear school uni (which is black jumpers and such), but I have a shirt which'll look good with a black jumper. I'm worried people will think I'm a student. Not that it matters.. but still..
So... how to not care what people think?
I really REALLY don't want to care, and just have fun and stuff, and if anyone makes a negative comment at me not to care... but it's hard.. so PLEASE help me..