do you think you'll ever be a parent?

[professor plum]

do you think you'll have biological children, or adopt? do you have any paternal/maternal instincts?

 

[Nah]

I have zero interest in ever becoming a parent

 

[colours]

I thought about this for a super long time... and each and every time, the answer is no. I'm confident this will not change in the future.

As it stands, I have a hell of a time looking after myself right now, so I'm in no position to be raising anyone else. That aside though, even if five years from now I manage to hit the metaphorical lottery in life and manage a good career and lifestyle, my answer would not change. I think there's a huge benefit in focusing on just... me. I don't have to spend money on anyone else but myself. I don't have to feel shackled at home for the next two or so decades and needing to plan around a kid constantly.

This is all to say that independence and freedom is something that's been super important to me. I want to make my own decisions with as little consequence as possible. Things like traveling become significantly harder/more annoying when you have to factor in children, and I legitimately cannot imagine myself in that sort of stressful situation. Not to mention that I feel like having a kid is increasingly super expensive -- you have to plan gifts for birthday parties, you have to plan for school supplies every year, not to mention doctor's visits/checkups.. all of the things that my own mother did for me, kudos to her because I cannot imagine the kind of financial crater having a kid would have.

Don't get me wrong. For those who decide to have them, they really are tough people for that. That's just not the lifestyle for me. I want to plan around me and the freedom that comes with that and I'm perfectly content with that. It might be a lonely lifestyle (I mean, depending on whether or not I have an SO in the future, I guess), but it far beats the stress of the alternative.

 

[Disturbed]

give me animals not babies

 

[User Anon 1848]

No, I've never wanted kids. Even if I did I don't see myself ever becoming financially stable enough to give them the environment and opportunities they'd deserve. Lastly there are certain hereditary conditions that I'd worry about passing down to them.

 

[Her]

i'm motherly but too selfish to sustain that energy beyond short bursts
i'm just thoroughly uninterested in the stress of raising a child, at least within the next decade

maybe adoption if i get too old and realise i've made a mistake, particularly when climate change begins to take hold and more children are displaced and in need of homes, but i'm not creating a child by any means

 

[EmTheGhost]

No. Being a parent is not the life I want, and frankly I would make a terrible one. That's not self deprecation, it's just honest self-analysis - I'm hardly responsible enough to take care of myself, I have personality flaws and neuroses coming out of my ears (including an inability to handle stress), and I didn't like kids even when I was a kid.

I'm very big on the decision to remain child-free being respected - I mean, all life choices that aren't hurting anybody else should be respected, but this one especially. No one should ever have a child that, for any reason, they aren't 100% sure they want, let alone try and convince someone to! It's the most important, and the most permanent decision you will ever make.

...Sometimes, though, I wonder if I'd ever want to be a surrogate mother, just to see what pregnancy is like. That'd be a loooong way down the road, though, so I don't think about it much.

 

[Sheep]

I was a huge no for the longest time, but now that I have a partner I love and am comfortable with, I'm actually unsure. I've already got names down in my head for both a boy and a girl lol. Not yet sure though and perhaps it's just the romanticism behind it, and will have at least 3+ years to decide, if not more (probably until my mid-30s).

 

[Nina]

Amazingly, somehow, from ages 16 - 22 I thought I was going to have children. Like I was reading homeschooling blogs and looking at sperm banks, regardless of if I had a partner or not. I chose illustration specifically because freelance would allow me to work from home to take care of the children. At that point in life, I lived for other people, and my value as a person was what I could give someone else. Surely I'd raise great children that listened to me???

Then the bad times came, and 1) passing on genetically is not morally viable for me and 2) mentally not responsible enough to raise a child. 0) is now that I have no interest in doing so, now that I've found my own self-worth that's not connected to other people.

 

[Fairy]

Pretty much scheduling my hysterectomy rn.

 

[Hyzenthlay]

YES! This is a subject I am always excited to gush about!

Six. I want six children! Ever since I was little I've dreamt of having a big family of my own. I value that so much. The best part is, my dream can actually be realised now—I've found someone who loves me and who is also willing to have that many kids! ♥

There's nothing more wholesome, more rewarding... I just can't imagine a future without my children and grandchildren surrounding me. It won't be lonely! There will always be something to do so I won't be aimlessly adrift. I need purpose in my life.

As for parenting, I'm not too concerned. I'm very motherly and tender-hearted, and I don't get angry easily, so I'm confident that I will be a kind, loving mother, at the very least! :)

 

[Her]

i guess you can have enough children to offset literally everyone else in this thread

 

[Aslan]

I'm open-minded to the possibility but right now I'm not certain if I want kids. Still young so I haven't fully given thought to it as I feel like that is a conversation I would have once I find someone that I want to spend the rest of my life with. I think it could be fulfilling and wonderful to have a family with someone you love but I also value my independence and being able to freely pursue my goals so I'd have to think about how having children would affect that. I think if I did decide to have kids though, I would adopt.

 

[Ninetales]

Absolutely! I'm thinking 4-5 beautiful children for me! I've always had a nurturing instinct and I've been told that I'd be an ideal mother! Since I was a little girl I've longed to be a mother. In fact, I think I'd prefer to be a mother than a wife! Anyways, I used to play house with my baby dolls and that was my absolute favourite hobby of mine back in the day!

I also plan on having children at a younger age. I'd prefer to have them in my mid-to late twenties to early thirties. However, I want to wait until I complete university and then we shall see! Of course, I'd like to find a good man to raise them with and I'd prefer to have my children after marriage. However, if I end up single in the future I'd consider other options as well. I have a very large extended family and so I long to have quite a large family of my own! My sister and I are very close and so I want my children to have close sibling bonds with one another as well!

This is how much I think of it, I've already considered baby names! I have a complete list in my phone.

 

[Fleurdelis]

For that I need to have a girlfriend first and considering that's near mission impossible I have not even had being a parent on my mind lol

Although I'd make for a terrible dad with my IRL antics

 

[Emilia]

I'm glad that there is some people who want kids.. because I sure don't LOL
I never liked kids and.. y'know.. the way they're made.. I wish the stork thing was real..
Maaaaaybe I'll adopt? But I doubt I will because I can't take care of myself, I'm like a 20 yr old baby. > >

 

[Alex]

Wow, I'm surprised at the number of No's in this thread. I've always thought I'd have children, just haven't planned for it yet. I'd like to be a dad and raise a child, it seems very challenging and rewarding. Difficult AF but not something I'd dismiss only because of that.

 

[gimmepie]

I used to really want to be a parent but that's no longer the case. Whilst I love kids, I don't think I have the mental stability nor the willingness to put my own needs and goals permanently behind those of my hypothetical children. Plus, whilst kids are great, babies repulse me and toddlers aren't much better. So yeah, almost certainly no kids.

If I did have kids though it'd be by adoption. There's plenty of kids in need of a home out there and I wouldn't want to risk passing on any of my numerous issues.

 

[aurevesque]

We prepped for the family barrage of "When are we getting grandchildren?" questions. My best hypothetical response has been: "Are you volunteering for surrogacy?"

I've never been a child person and I like to sleep at least 9 hours a day. But, occasionally I see a really adorable Wasian baby and I know my husband would be a great dad. So still a 50/50 but we're not going to make a decision until 3 years from now. Procrastination for the win!

 

[Fairy]

Props to the men and women in this thread who have it in them to nurture life. I don't have that instinct so I can't really empathize but I sure as hell respect it.