After 37 years of marriage, Jake dumped his wife for his young secretary.
His new girlfriend demanded that they live in Jake and Edith's multi-million dollar home. Since the man's lawyers were better, he prevailed.
He gave Edith, now his ex-wife, just three days to move out. She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates, and suitcases.
On the second day, she hired movers to come and collect her things.
On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of Chardonnay.
When she had finished eating, she went into each and every room and stuffed half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar into the hollow of all of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.
When Jake returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days.
Then, slowly the house began to smell. They tried their best to clean, mop, and air the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters. During this time the couple had to move out for a few days.
In the end, they even had to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked.
Their friends stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. Even the maid quit.
Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.
A month later, they still couldn't find a buyer for their house, which now reeked heavily.
Word about the house got out, and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls. Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.
The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going. He told her of the rotting state the house was in. She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly.
She then said that she would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement if the house was returned to her.
Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was about 10 percent of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day.
She agreed, and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.
A week later, the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home.
They even took the curtain rods.
